On Wed, 2009-12-02 at 01:31 +0000, Thomas Dalton wrote:
2009/12/2 Michael Peel email@mikepeel.net:
On 30 Nov 2009, at 18:17, Thomas Dalton wrote:
2009/11/30 Michael Peel email@mikepeel.net:
Does someone want to start drafting a press release that can be sent out, then?
Ok, here's a first draft:
http://uk.wikimedia.org/wiki/Press_releases/Free_online_news
Steve Virgin's just rewritten this - any comments on the latest version? The current plan is to send it out tomorrow morning.
I like most of that rewrite - talking about how social media is already playing a big role in telling the news is a really good idea. I've made a few changes, though: I've changed it back to being a statement (rather than a kind of op-ed) since that how I've seen other organisations do these kind of press releases. I've been told that press releases should be ready to just be put straight into a newspaper (although that isn't likely to happen with this one - it will get incorporated into a larger story, but the style should be the same) and no-one would publish an article about what we think, they would publish one about us saying what we think. I've also rearranged the first paragraph so it isn't such a run-on sentence (I've been trying to cut back on my use of commas!). Steve, what do you think? I have essentially no experience of writing press releases, so I may have it all wrong!
As you probably saw (I think you're the other person I was edit conflicting with) you need to zap "that" and "the" where not absolutely essential. Not just for PR, but for all news style; give an impression you want to say a huge amount more, but are squeezing the message as much as possible to impart information quickly.
Mike, I edited one of the quotes; it should, under no circumstances, go out until you okay that.
I disagree about taking out links - most press releases are online now and can (i.e. most do) include inline links.
I would have preferred not to touch this, but - for once - I think 4+ years Wikinews experience is useful. ;-)