I have several issues with it:
* "identified by your network IP address. This is a series of four numbers" <- too technical, and won't hold true for IPv6
* "It will be deleted when you close your browser session." <- depends on the browser
* "By participating to an IRC channel, your IP address will be exposed to other participants." <- this is plain wrong *especially* on freenode. (cloaks anyone?)
* "Once created, user accounts can not be removed. " <- yes they can, you probably meant to say "won't"