It is worth noting that this is a very preliminary draft and not something the board is actively considering voting for at this time. Therefore, a detailed discussion of very minor word-smithing is probably going to be a waste of people's energy. (Feel free to do it, I am just saying that suggesting that a comma be moved, or that a provision be changed in some minor ways is probably not really the best approach right now.)
What is probably going to be more helpful is a broad discussion of principles and values.
--Jimbo