I am serious now, please read below as a serious proposal.
I was talking today with a friend about the image filter, and we came to the possible solution. Of course, if those who are in favor of censorship have honest intentions to allow to particular people to access Wikipedia articles despite the problems which they have on workplace or in country. If they don't have honest intentions, this is waste of time, but I could say that I tried.
* Create en.safe.wikipedia.org (ar.safe.wikiversity.org and so on). Those sites would have censored images and/or image filter implemented. The sites would be a kind of proxies for equivalent Wikimedia projects without "safe" in the middle. People who access to those sites would have the same privileges as people who accessed to the sites without "safe" in the domain name. Thus, everybody who wants to have "family friendly Wikipedia" would have it on separate site; everybody who wants to keep Wikipedia free would have it free.
* Create safe.wikimedia.org. That would be the site for censoring/categorizing Commons images. It shouldn't be Commons itself, but its virtual fork. The fork would be consisted of hashes of image names with images themselves. Thus, image on Commons with the name "Torre_de_H%C3%A9rcules_-_DivesGallaecia2012-62.jpg" would be "fd37dae713526ee2da82f5a6cf6431de.jpg" on safe.wikimedia.org. The image preview located on upload.wikimedia.org with the name "thumb/8/80/Torre_de_H%C3%A9rcules_-_DivesGallaecia2012-62.jpg/800px-Torre_de_H%C3%A9rcules_-_DivesGallaecia2012-62.jpg"; it would be translated as "thumb/a1f3216e3344ea115bcac778937947f1.jpg" on safe.wikimedia.org. (Note: md5 is not likely to be the best hashing system; some other algorithm could be deployed.)
* Link from the real image name and its hash would be just inside of the Wikimedia system. It would be easy to find relation image=>hash; but it would be very hard to find relation into other direction. Thus, no entity out of Wikimedia would be able to build its censorship repository in relation to Commons; they would be able to do that just in relation to safe.wikimedia.org, which is already censored.
Besides the technical benefits, just those interested in censoring images would have to work on it. Commons community would be spared of that job. The only reason why such idea would be rejected by those who are in favor of censorship would be their wet dreams to use Commons community to censor images for themselves. If they want to censor images, they should find people interested in doing that; they shouldn't force one community to do it.
Drawbacks are similar to any abuse of censorship: companies, states etc. which want to use that system for their own goals would be able to do that by blocking everything which doesn't have "safe" infix. But, as said, that's drawback of *any* censorship mechanism. Those who access through the "safe" wrapper would have to write image names in their hash format; but that's small price for "family friendliness", I suppose.
Thoughts?