I am leaving the movement. I thought to leave it quietly, with just a
bit more than a few words to stewards and Wikimedia Serbia, but after
the first question why I am leaving, I realized that I actually owe to
many of you the explanation for leaving the movement after almost 10
years.
If you want to skip the story of my motivation, continue with
"Unfinished projects" section.
== On my motivation ==
In short, I am struggling with the motivation to work inside of the
movement for almost two years. My participation in Haifa was the
culmination of my Wikimedia engagement and everything after it was
going down and down.
I was struggling hard. I didn't want to leave the movement because I
was feeling responsible for a number of issues. As time went, as I
wasn't taking any new responsibility, the level of "feeling
responsible" was lowering and lowering. My last really big
responsibility was to push the creation of Wikimedia Serbia Office
last fall. After that I felt that there is no need for me inside of
the movement.
But I wanted to stay, I wanted it hardly! For at least two years I was
struggling with my steward activity and although I know that I am
important to other stewards, I have problem to make one fucking
steward action for months. And that wasn't about my free time. I have
it enough. That was about my motivation.
I was trying to find a way to motivate myself to participate in the
movement. Alone or in cooperation with other Wikimedians, I started
some not yet published projects. I thought that I could raise my
motivation if I leave issues related to the chapters and I left
Chapters committee. But it didn't help.
I was on Amsterdam Hackathon and talking with Erik about one more
important Wikimedia issue: thousands of languages which are waiting
for their editions of Wikimedia projects. He was encouraging; for the
first time I got clearly positive response. But it wasn't enough.
Instead of enthusiastically working on the project, I just didn't have
enough motivation to do anything.
I thought that becoming a Board member could raise my motivation. At
the beginning, I was actually very enthusiastic. But last two weeks I
spent much more time in being worried about the possibility to be
elected than about thinking about how to be elected.
For a number of times I was thinking to quit, but this time I had
appropriate personal trigger and finally got courage to admit myself
that there is nothing which would change my motivation.
== Wikimedia impact on me ==
I've just realized that if I am writing this kind of email, I should
say something about Wikimedia impact on me.
When I first edited Wikipedia I was less than a month older than 30.
This November I will be 40. The whole decade of my life was under the
strong influence of Wikimedia movement. I spent intellectually
formative years inside of Wikimedia and it changed me a lot, probably
not comparable to anything else.
And I could write a book about how Wikipedia and Wikimedia influenced me.
== Unfinished projects ==
This is important. I am leaving some things unfinished and both of the
projects are very important.
* First, languages. There are more than 6000 languages and there are
less than 300 language editions of Wikipedia. It is likely that all of
3000 languages with more than 10,000 of speakers would survive if they
have Wikipedia edition in their language. And if you ask why Wikimedia
movement should do that, it's because there is no other relevant
international body capable to do that. That makes Wikimedia's position
unique and with large amount of historical responsibility. I will
share my research with anyone willing to work on this issue.
* Gamification. Mostly because the lack of my motivation, the project
Wikichievements didn't start yet. It's actually in the very initial
phase. Wikimedia Serbia and Wikimedia DC would do that. If you are
interested in that, please contact Kirill Lokshin from WM DC.
Gamification and social features are extremely important in making
Wikimedia movement attractive to young generations again.
== Wikimedia movement *is* important! ==
Wikimedia movement is not just "important", it is the best try of our
civilization to create a global movement based on completely different
principles than anything else before. It's the best chance of our
civilization to survive. And it's up to you to use the chance or not.
If Wikimedia movement fails, I am sure that the similar chance would
appear once in the future. But not soon and maybe too late.
Every Wikimedian is a highly important person, likely more important
than many heads of states. And that importance brings high
responsibility to keep and develop Wikimedia projects and the
movement.
* * *
Thanks for all the fish! It is pleasure to know all of you! I won't
leave wikimeida-l for a couple of days. It's not nice to leave the
communication immediately. And you have my email; some of you other
means of communication with me. It will be always a pleasure to me if
I could help to any of you!