There is a tendency of men to disregard women's discussion of issues that affect them so, yes, men on a list like this can undermine its purpose.
--Kathleen
On Mon, Jun 23, 2014 at 11:26 AM, Risker risker.wp@gmail.com wrote:
I'm sorry Derric, but I think the topic of this thread is the notion that many men, including those in administrator roles (e.g. list moderators) simply don't even recognize misogyny, and don't recognize the importance of providing systems by which women (and others, for that matter) can easily limit the ability of people who have caused them problems from continuing to communicate with them.
The focus on technology here is very important. Right now, there is no way for Wikimedians to control from whom they receive "email this user" emails, or pings through the notification system. We know that both have been, and continue to be, vectors for harassment and trolling. There's never, to my knowledge, been any consideration given to including these features. We keep being told we're going to get this wonderful new communication system called "Flow" to replace talk pages. Features that allow users to control who posts to their "page", or even to let non-admin users remove individual threads or posts from their "stream", aren't included - and I'm not sure they're even under consideration.
And I'm going to be honest - I've seen more people blocked for "homophobic" comments than "misogynistic" ones.
Nemo, your "Hm, we've discussed that author before... oh well." is really unhelpful and dismissive - and is pretty much exactly the kind of statement that Violet Blue is talking about in her article. It comes across as "She wrote something I didn't agree with in the past, so there's no reason to ever pay attention to her again". I am really hoping you didn't intend that.
And Carol has a point. There are now more men posting to this thread than there are women. And most of you have missed the point entirely. Heaven help us from those who see themselves as our saviours.
Risker
On 23 June 2014 09:57, Derric Atzrott datzrott@alizeepathology.com wrote:
Carol Moore dc, 23/06/2014 06:34: A lot of women used to be outspoken about all this here when this email list started, but that stopped after a bunch of guys joined and started hassling them about it. SURPRISE!!
By looking at this directory, I can tell that I mostly stopped reading this list in January 2012, one week after a fight between two vocal women.
Nemo
Nemo and Carol both, I really don't like the direction that this discussion is going. Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?
From the Mailing list signup page: "Addressing gender equity and exploring ways to increase the participation of women within Wikimedia projects.
Wikimedia Foundation surveys show that the participation of women in Wikipedia and related projects are between 9 and 13 percent. This mailing list is provided by the Wikimedia Foundation as a communication tool to collectively address the realities of the gender gap within our projects. We are focused on discussing solutions and exploring opportunities that may serve as a starting point to improve gender equity, increase the participation of women and trans women, and reduce the impact of the gender gap within Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons, and the 'free knowledge movement'. We want to encourage you to engage with others in this effort. Your thoughts and opinions in this regard matter to us and to the community."
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
I'm sorry Derric, but I think the topic of this thread is the notion that many men, including those in administrator roles (e.g. list moderators) simply don't even recognize misogyny, and don't recognize the importance of providing systems by which women (and others, for that matter) can easily limit the ability of people who have caused them problems from continuing to communicate with them.
My email was an attempt to bring us back to that topic and diffuse what I, at least in my head, had expected to turn into a situation that I felt uncomfortable with, and that I felt others on the list (men and women both) would.
There is a tendency of men to disregard women's discussion of issues that affect them so, yes, men on a list like this can undermine its purpose.
This is a discussion I would be glad to have. Just not the way it looked like it was going to happen.
Again, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone. I was genuinely trying to make sure that we didn't have a situation crop up that I thought would really make everyone uncomfortable. Instead I seem to have just buggered things up more.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Derric, if I may suggest - the best way to get a mailing list back on topic is to write to the topic, not to remind people of the rules.
Risker/Anne
On 23 June 2014 11:49, Derric Atzrott datzrott@alizeepathology.com wrote:
I'm sorry Derric, but I think the topic of this thread is the notion that many men, including those in administrator roles (e.g. list moderators) simply don't even recognize misogyny, and don't recognize the importance
of
providing systems by which women (and others, for that matter) can easily limit the ability of people who have caused them problems from
continuing to
communicate with them.
My email was an attempt to bring us back to that topic and diffuse what I, at least in my head, had expected to turn into a situation that I felt uncomfortable with, and that I felt others on the list (men and women both) would.
There is a tendency of men to disregard women's discussion of issues that affect them so, yes, men on a list like this can undermine its purpose.
This is a discussion I would be glad to have. Just not the way it looked like it was going to happen.
Again, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone. I was genuinely trying to make sure that we didn't have a situation crop up that I thought would really make everyone uncomfortable. Instead I seem to have just buggered things up more.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Ok, I shouldn't have said "two women" but "two members", the gender was unimportant.
Risker, 23/06/2014 18:02:
Derric, if I may suggest - the best way to get a mailing list back on topic is to write to the topic,
Sure, and of course the topic is throwing judgements on who missed the point:
Risker, 23/06/2014 17:26:
There are now more men posting to this thread than there are women. And most of you have missed the point entirely. Heaven help us from those who see themselves as our saviours.
Agreed. You for instance. Time for me to unsubscribe and delete 35 MB of hatred from my hard disk. Bye bye, Nemo
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Hi Derric,
This list is not for the purpose of improving people's communication skills. If you would like to help women in Wikimedia projects and you know that you have difficulty communicating without offending people, working on your communication skills in another venue is a good first step. A good second step is to search the internet for resources on ally skills.
To be crystal clear: you will not be helping women in Wikipedia by continuing to ask for help from anyone on this list or centering yourself in the discussion.
-VAL
On Mon, Jun 23, 2014 at 10:05 AM, Derric Atzrott datzrott@alizeepathology.com wrote:
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Hi all -
Speaking as one of the list moderators, I unfortunately don't always have time to proactively reach out to problematic members, or even to read all list traffic on a timely basis at all times. (For instance, because I'm in the process of setting up a new house - I haven't read the thread that this thread is about fully, although I intend to do so shortly.) I would like to state that I agree with Val's last email (and thank you, Val, for sending it out.) If there is a problematic situation that the list moderators have missed (which are currently me, Sue Gardner - who tends to be busy enough to not be an active moderator, and Liz Kent,) I would encourage anyone concerned about it to bring it to our direct attention by emailing one of us individually, or by emailing gendergap-owner@lists.wikimedia.org, which will email all three of us. If you are interested in becoming a moderator, I'd also invite you to email us - unfortunately, since Cynthia passed, we're down one moderator from where we normally are.
I can't speak of the moderation of other lists, but from memory, this list has had around four people removed or moderated for making misogynistic comments, one person removed for the combination of making anti-male comments and generally problematic behavior (the person in question, after being called out on their original comments, spammed the list moderators with seven or eight completely profanity filled emails,) two people removed for general assholery/generally disruptive behavior, and a number of other people warned privately who subsequently improved their behavior. Of the people who have been removed or moderated, probably three of them have involved proactive action taken by the list mods, and the rest have been pointed out to us at times when we were ourselves not keeping up with all list traffic. We're the most proactively moderated Wikimedia list as far as I know, but given the special nature of this list, I think all of us would be more than open to moderating more aggressively.
I'll try to pay more attention to this list than I have been over the last few months, and will try to take a more proactive moderation stance. At the same time, if I do miss someone's problematic behavior, I'd encourage a list member to point it out to me (or another mod) and not assume that I don't consider the behavior problematic. An overwhelming majority of the time, I'll agree that the behavior is problematic once it's pointed out to me - I probably just hadn't seen it yet because I often run low enough on spoons to be unable to keep up with listserv traffic in real time.
Anyway... afk to go read the thread that started this thread.
Best, Kevin Gorman
On Tue, Jun 24, 2014 at 6:29 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
Hi Derric,
This list is not for the purpose of improving people's communication skills. If you would like to help women in Wikimedia projects and you know that you have difficulty communicating without offending people, working on your communication skills in another venue is a good first step. A good second step is to search the internet for resources on ally skills.
To be crystal clear: you will not be helping women in Wikipedia by continuing to ask for help from anyone on this list or centering yourself in the discussion.
-VAL
On Mon, Jun 23, 2014 at 10:05 AM, Derric Atzrott datzrott@alizeepathology.com wrote:
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of
meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on
Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
-- Valerie Aurora Executive Director
You can help increase the participation of women in open technology and culture! Donate today at http://adainitiative.org/donate/
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
On 6/24/2014 4:02 PM, Kevin Gorman wrote:
If there is a problematic situation that the list moderators have missed (which are currently me, Sue Gardner - who tends to be busy enough to not be an active moderator, and Liz Kent,) I would encourage anyone concerned about it to bring it to our direct attention by emailing one of us individually, or by emailing gendergap-owner@lists.wikimedia.org mailto:gendergap-owner@lists.wikimedia.org, which will email all three of us. If you are interested in becoming a moderator, I'd also invite you to email us - unfortunately, since Cynthia passed, we're down one moderator from where we normally are.
I do encourage another woman to volunteer who can encourage women to speak out and not let guys get out of line as in 2012ish period. I'm a bit too ... too... myself, so best I merely post.... : - )
CM
On Tue, Jun 24, 2014 at 6:29 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
Hi Derric,
This list is not for the purpose of improving people's communication skills. If you would like to help women in Wikimedia projects and you know that you have difficulty communicating without offending people, working on your communication skills in another venue is a good first step. A good second step is to search the internet for resources on ally skills.
This response seems a bit harsh to me; the list may not be about communication skills in general, but good communication is certainly a part of learning to be a good ally, and thus seems to fall within our discussion remit.
Derric is a good contributor to our projects, who is confused about why what he thought was a reasonable and explanatory comment was taken amiss. I don't particularly think we should rehash why it was taken amiss; no good will come out of people feeling like they are forced to justify their feelings. But, the overall topic of why some explanatory comments are helpful and others aren't would be interesting to me. In particular, this topic is interesting to me because the Wikimedia world is a world of people who really, really love to explain things (myself certainly included). We would not likely not be in the business of writing an encyclopedia etc if we didn't all enjoy sharing information and explanations and data -- and yes, opinions.
* Sometimes, being an "explainer" is a really positive trait: when a newcomer comes asking for help on how to do something, and they get help. * Sometimes, it's problematic: when a newcomer comes asking for help, and they get talked down to because they're not already part of the culture, or treated badly because they don't already know the rules ("your article is being deleted because of CSD:A5"). * Sometimes, it's a positive trait: when in a discussion people are willing to consider new data, or focus on substance rather than who is making the point. * Sometimes: it's a negative trait: when in a discussion people voice an opinion, and they get contradicted by someone else who has a different view or wants to explain an argument but is also not really listening to the comment being made.
I would be interested in coming up with strategies for how to channel this trait that many of us (of both genders!) have -- of being thoughtful but also deeply focused on logic and explanations -- for good on the projects. How can we all learn how to be supportive and helpful, including when we don't understand or disagree with someone, or when someone we're interacting with doesn't have this same trait?
-- phoebe (who overexplains things as a librarian, too!)
On Thu, Jun 26, 2014 at 1:15 PM, phoebe ayers phoebe.wiki@gmail.com wrote:
On Tue, Jun 24, 2014 at 6:29 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
Hi Derric,
This list is not for the purpose of improving people's communication skills. If you would like to help women in Wikimedia projects and you know that you have difficulty communicating without offending people, working on your communication skills in another venue is a good first step. A good second step is to search the internet for resources on ally skills.
This response seems a bit harsh to me; the list may not be about communication skills in general, but good communication is certainly a part of learning to be a good ally, and thus seems to fall within our discussion remit.
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
Thanks for excellent comments below. Let's keep them in mind. Even some of us "tough chicks" still can get sucked into the "helper" role even if it's against our own interests... sigh...
On 7/2/2014 6:33 PM, Valerie Aurora wrote:
.... Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
Valerie's interesting comments are in line with one of the reasons I've stayed off of this list in the past. I am ok with women having a space without men around, just like I feel men should be able to have a space without women around. I'm familiar with a workplace where at least one employee lounge is female-only, and considering that many of the employees of both genders have union representation, I suppose that the employees as a whole support having that lounge be the way it is. In the Wikipedia context, if some women wanted to have a supportive email list or social network group only for women, where women could talk in relative privacy, I would say go for it.
Interestingly, I was invited, completely sight unseen and with only the most basic of introductions from a third party, to attend an edit-a-thon at what I believe was a female-focused software engineering workspace. I told the person who invited me that I was uncomfortable with stepping into the women's space, and she assured me that as long as people are respectful that everything would be ok. I'm not the type of male who would invite myself to an event like that, nor do I plan on setting up workshops for the opposite gender. I thought it was remarkably open of the women to invite me into their space, especially knowing relatively little about me. I guess they felt safety in numbers? I'm not used to getting that kind of invitation!
Anyway, if some of the WikiWomen want to set up a relatively private and supportive space just for WikiWomen, I'd say that sounds like an idea worth trying. If there is some need for resources, IdeaLab and the grants programs stand ready to hear requests. (:
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:49 PM, Carol Moore dc carolmooredc@verizon.net wrote:
Thanks for excellent comments below. Let's keep them in mind. Even some of us "tough chicks" still can get sucked into the "helper" role even if it's against our own interests... sigh...
On 7/2/2014 6:33 PM, Valerie Aurora wrote:
....
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
I understand all the reasons, but I must disagree on a couple of points*.
I think it might have to do with me having a different experience with these topics, but while I do agree that there's absolutely a great advantage of having a women-only space, I also think that it is context-dependent.
I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men. I can also see how some men really want to help but are unaware of the depth of the problems at hand, so I don't see a problem with dedicating one or two threads to talking about it.
Then again, that's also why I prefer forums over lists; in forums, you can have these types of discussions and people can choose which discussion to go and read and which to ignore and never get into. Much harder to do in an email lists. But I digress.
I think that there could be a huge benefit of a more closed or restricted women-only group and that group can serve as both a place to feel comfortable in (which is VERY important) and a place to brainstorm without fear of argumentative responses.
*But* since this specific mailing list is public, I think we should definitely consider the fact that having men -- and, yes, sometimes spending the energy of explaining (or creating a boilerplate response if these cases start being overwhelming) might actually work for our benefit. I'm thinking about men who don't really "get it" but want to, who try to understand but don't notice that they're stuck in the same issues we're trying to improve.
If we don't handle those situations, we will lose the allies we *have* to have in order to commit realistic changes in the community.
Moriel
* Oh noes, argumentativeness!
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 1:40 AM, Pine W wiki.pine@gmail.com wrote:
Valerie's interesting comments are in line with one of the reasons I've stayed off of this list in the past. I am ok with women having a space without men around, just like I feel men should be able to have a space without women around. I'm familiar with a workplace where at least one employee lounge is female-only, and considering that many of the employees of both genders have union representation, I suppose that the employees as a whole support having that lounge be the way it is. In the Wikipedia context, if some women wanted to have a supportive email list or social network group only for women, where women could talk in relative privacy, I would say go for it.
Interestingly, I was invited, completely sight unseen and with only the most basic of introductions from a third party, to attend an edit-a-thon at what I believe was a female-focused software engineering workspace. I told the person who invited me that I was uncomfortable with stepping into the women's space, and she assured me that as long as people are respectful that everything would be ok. I'm not the type of male who would invite myself to an event like that, nor do I plan on setting up workshops for the opposite gender. I thought it was remarkably open of the women to invite me into their space, especially knowing relatively little about me. I guess they felt safety in numbers? I'm not used to getting that kind of invitation!
Anyway, if some of the WikiWomen want to set up a relatively private and supportive space just for WikiWomen, I'd say that sounds like an idea worth trying. If there is some need for resources, IdeaLab and the grants programs stand ready to hear requests. (:
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:49 PM, Carol Moore dc carolmooredc@verizon.net wrote:
Thanks for excellent comments below. Let's keep them in mind. Even some of us "tough chicks" still can get sucked into the "helper" role even if it's against our own interests... sigh...
On 7/2/2014 6:33 PM, Valerie Aurora wrote:
....
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Hi Moriel and others,
Do you have a list of "realistic changes" in mind for the community?
I hear almost no one say that the typical state of (in)civility on wiki or on Wikimedia-l is good enough or that people are being hypersensitive, so I get the sense that there's a lot of agreement that we have a cultural problem. Ideas for solutions seem to be in short supply, so any "realistic changes" that you can suggest would be good to hear, either on this list or in IdeaLab.
If there are issues other than civility and the occasional trolling, I think it would be good to have a list of those. Then everyone can be looking at the same set of problems and be thinking about how to address them.
Our current IEG grantee for research on female editing, Mssemantics (Amanda), may have something to say, although she may want to wait until she feels she has adequate data from her research.
In any case, I'm going to encourage Mssemantics to participate on the discussion on this list or at least listen to it.
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 11:19 PM, Moriel Schottlender moriel@gmail.com wrote:
I understand all the reasons, but I must disagree on a couple of points*.
I think it might have to do with me having a different experience with these topics, but while I do agree that there's absolutely a great advantage of having a women-only space, I also think that it is context-dependent.
I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men. I can also see how some men really want to help but are unaware of the depth of the problems at hand, so I don't see a problem with dedicating one or two threads to talking about it.
Then again, that's also why I prefer forums over lists; in forums, you can have these types of discussions and people can choose which discussion to go and read and which to ignore and never get into. Much harder to do in an email lists. But I digress.
I think that there could be a huge benefit of a more closed or restricted women-only group and that group can serve as both a place to feel comfortable in (which is VERY important) and a place to brainstorm without fear of argumentative responses.
*But* since this specific mailing list is public, I think we should definitely consider the fact that having men -- and, yes, sometimes spending the energy of explaining (or creating a boilerplate response if these cases start being overwhelming) might actually work for our benefit. I'm thinking about men who don't really "get it" but want to, who try to understand but don't notice that they're stuck in the same issues we're trying to improve.
If we don't handle those situations, we will lose the allies we *have* to have in order to commit realistic changes in the community.
Moriel
- Oh noes, argumentativeness!
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 1:40 AM, Pine W wiki.pine@gmail.com wrote:
Valerie's interesting comments are in line with one of the reasons I've stayed off of this list in the past. I am ok with women having a space without men around, just like I feel men should be able to have a space without women around. I'm familiar with a workplace where at least one employee lounge is female-only, and considering that many of the employees of both genders have union representation, I suppose that the employees as a whole support having that lounge be the way it is. In the Wikipedia context, if some women wanted to have a supportive email list or social network group only for women, where women could talk in relative privacy, I would say go for it.
Interestingly, I was invited, completely sight unseen and with only the most basic of introductions from a third party, to attend an edit-a-thon at what I believe was a female-focused software engineering workspace. I told the person who invited me that I was uncomfortable with stepping into the women's space, and she assured me that as long as people are respectful that everything would be ok. I'm not the type of male who would invite myself to an event like that, nor do I plan on setting up workshops for the opposite gender. I thought it was remarkably open of the women to invite me into their space, especially knowing relatively little about me. I guess they felt safety in numbers? I'm not used to getting that kind of invitation!
Anyway, if some of the WikiWomen want to set up a relatively private and supportive space just for WikiWomen, I'd say that sounds like an idea worth trying. If there is some need for resources, IdeaLab and the grants programs stand ready to hear requests. (:
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:49 PM, Carol Moore dc carolmooredc@verizon.net wrote:
Thanks for excellent comments below. Let's keep them in mind. Even some of us "tough chicks" still can get sucked into the "helper" role even if it's against our own interests... sigh...
On 7/2/2014 6:33 PM, Valerie Aurora wrote:
....
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
-- No trees were harmed in the creation of this post. But billions of electrons, photons, and electromagnetic waves were terribly inconvenienced during its transmission!
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Our current IEG grantee for research on female editing, Mssemantics (Amanda), may have something to say, although she may want to wait until she feels she has adequate data from her research.
In any case, I'm going to encourage Mssemantics to participate on the discussion on this list or at least listen to it.
Thanks for thinking of me, Pine. I’ve been lurking on this list for quite some time. I posted about my IEG—asking for feedback and for interview/focus group participants—but, otherwise, I’ve kept quiet.
Pine is right: I’d rather have adequate data before I contribute. Thus far, I’ve interviewed 18 Wikipedians who edit EN and self-identify as women. I’d like to do several more interviews and a few focus groups—with all genders as I believe it’s important to have representation of different opinions, perspectives, and stories. I also plan to do a thematic analysis of the archives of this mailing list to understand better how the community has constructed the story of the gender gap, asking whether this list has been a safe, cooperative space or a site of conflict (or both—as it most likely has been from what I’ve seen) and how that struggle has been handled, etc. I’ll be looking at program evaluations of editing events geared toward addressing the gender gap, user’s edit counts, etc.
So, yes, more data. :)
However, I will say that, thus far, what I’ve heard, seen, read, etc. points toward cultural problems—some aided and abetted by policies, some aided and abetted by underlying technologies. Although my project is called “Women and Wikipedia,” I’m also concerned with how the dominant culture on EN may be discouraging participation amongst those (all genders) who aren’t part of it.
I’ll have much more to say—including some design suggestions—after November/December. But, for now, thank you for the privilege of listening. Please, anyone, feel free to reach out to me personally if you’d like to chat, too.
Best, Mssemantics/Amanda
From: Pine W <wiki.pine@gmail.commailto:wiki.pine@gmail.com> Reply-To: "Addressing gender equity and exploring ways to increase the participation of women within Wikimedia projects." <gendergap@lists.wikimedia.orgmailto:gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org> Date: Thursday, July 3, 2014 at 1:50 AM To: "Addressing gender equity and exploring ways to increase the participation of women within Wikimedia projects." <gendergap@lists.wikimedia.orgmailto:gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org> Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
Hi Moriel and others,
Do you have a list of "realistic changes" in mind for the community?
I hear almost no one say that the typical state of (in)civility on wiki or on Wikimedia-l is good enough or that people are being hypersensitive, so I get the sense that there's a lot of agreement that we have a cultural problem. Ideas for solutions seem to be in short supply, so any "realistic changes" that you can suggest would be good to hear, either on this list or in IdeaLab.
If there are issues other than civility and the occasional trolling, I think it would be good to have a list of those. Then everyone can be looking at the same set of problems and be thinking about how to address them.
Our current IEG grantee for research on female editing, Mssemantics (Amanda), may have something to say, although she may want to wait until she feels she has adequate data from her research.
In any case, I'm going to encourage Mssemantics to participate on the discussion on this list or at least listen to it.
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 11:19 PM, Moriel Schottlender <moriel@gmail.commailto:moriel@gmail.com> wrote: I understand all the reasons, but I must disagree on a couple of points*.
I think it might have to do with me having a different experience with these topics, but while I do agree that there's absolutely a great advantage of having a women-only space, I also think that it is context-dependent.
I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men. I can also see how some men really want to help but are unaware of the depth of the problems at hand, so I don't see a problem with dedicating one or two threads to talking about it.
Then again, that's also why I prefer forums over lists; in forums, you can have these types of discussions and people can choose which discussion to go and read and which to ignore and never get into. Much harder to do in an email lists. But I digress.
I think that there could be a huge benefit of a more closed or restricted women-only group and that group can serve as both a place to feel comfortable in (which is VERY important) and a place to brainstorm without fear of argumentative responses.
*But* since this specific mailing list is public, I think we should definitely consider the fact that having men -- and, yes, sometimes spending the energy of explaining (or creating a boilerplate response if these cases start being overwhelming) might actually work for our benefit. I'm thinking about men who don't really "get it" but want to, who try to understand but don't notice that they're stuck in the same issues we're trying to improve.
If we don't handle those situations, we will lose the allies we *have* to have in order to commit realistic changes in the community.
Moriel
* Oh noes, argumentativeness!
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 1:40 AM, Pine W <wiki.pine@gmail.commailto:wiki.pine@gmail.com> wrote: Valerie's interesting comments are in line with one of the reasons I've stayed off of this list in the past. I am ok with women having a space without men around, just like I feel men should be able to have a space without women around. I'm familiar with a workplace where at least one employee lounge is female-only, and considering that many of the employees of both genders have union representation, I suppose that the employees as a whole support having that lounge be the way it is. In the Wikipedia context, if some women wanted to have a supportive email list or social network group only for women, where women could talk in relative privacy, I would say go for it.
Interestingly, I was invited, completely sight unseen and with only the most basic of introductions from a third party, to attend an edit-a-thon at what I believe was a female-focused software engineering workspace. I told the person who invited me that I was uncomfortable with stepping into the women's space, and she assured me that as long as people are respectful that everything would be ok. I'm not the type of male who would invite myself to an event like that, nor do I plan on setting up workshops for the opposite gender. I thought it was remarkably open of the women to invite me into their space, especially knowing relatively little about me. I guess they felt safety in numbers? I'm not used to getting that kind of invitation!
Anyway, if some of the WikiWomen want to set up a relatively private and supportive space just for WikiWomen, I'd say that sounds like an idea worth trying. If there is some need for resources, IdeaLab and the grants programs stand ready to hear requests. (:
Pine
On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:49 PM, Carol Moore dc <carolmooredc@verizon.netmailto:carolmooredc@verizon.net> wrote: Thanks for excellent comments below. Let's keep them in mind. Even some of us "tough chicks" still can get sucked into the "helper" role even if it's against our own interests... sigh...
On 7/2/2014 6:33 PM, Valerie Aurora wrote: ....
Hi Phoebe,
Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with LinuxChix in 2002.
A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their time and energy.
The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could be used much more effectively on other projects.
-VAL
_______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.orgmailto:Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
_______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.orgmailto:Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
-- No trees were harmed in the creation of this post. But billions of electrons, photons, and electromagnetic waves were terribly inconvenienced during its transmission!
_______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.orgmailto:Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
On 7/3/2014 1:40 AM, Pine W wrote:
Anyway, if some of the WikiWomen want to set up a relatively private and supportive space just for WikiWomen, I'd say that sounds like an idea worth trying. If there is some need for resources, IdeaLab and the grants programs stand ready to hear requests. (:
Pine
FYI, on a related note https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Workshop_for_Women does exist with general principles, links to relevant resources and to past women workshops. (Lots in india have their own pages.) I worked on a lot couple years ago but it need updating now. (My sample workshop probably way too detailed for intro and needs to be scrapped or adjusted as a second workshop.)
CM
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 4:03 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
Do you have a study backing this statement?
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
A. Mani,
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
-Leigh
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 10:55 AM, A. Mani a.mani.cms@gmail.com wrote:
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 4:03 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
Do you have a study backing this statement?
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
+1 to Leigh.
Anyone involved with that mailing list (or others, like a few I am on) can vouch for it.
Sarah On Jul 3, 2014 11:02 AM, "Leigh Honeywell" leigh@hypatia.ca wrote:
A. Mani,
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
-Leigh
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 10:55 AM, A. Mani a.mani.cms@gmail.com wrote:
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 4:03 AM, Valerie Aurora valerie@adainitiative.org wrote:
and our mailing lists were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they could talk about Linux.
Do you have a study backing this statement?
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
-- Leigh Honeywell http://hypatia.ca @hypatiadotca
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:31 PM, Leigh Honeywell leigh@hypatia.ca wrote:
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
I was thinking about a proper documentation of how it has happened - should be written. Even I know of instances in techtalk list.
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
I agree with Moriel in that "I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men." and there is a Wikimania submission that deals with this: https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/What_male_Wikipedians_c...
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:19 PM, A. Mani a.mani.cms@gmail.com wrote:
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:31 PM, Leigh Honeywell leigh@hypatia.ca wrote:
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
I was thinking about a proper documentation of how it has happened - should be written. Even I know of instances in techtalk list.
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Unfortunately, that talk was not accepted to Wikimania, despite quite high grades at the reviewing phase :-/ It seems that the gendergap issue instead is represented by:
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Internet_skills_and_the...
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Diversity_Workshop:_Gen...
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Gender_and_Beyond:_Buil...
and https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Creative_Ways_to_Aliena...
Best wishes,
Lennart Guldbrandsson
070 - 207 80 05 http://www.elementx.se - arbete http://www.mrchapel.wordpress.com - personlig blogg
Presentation @aliasHannibal - på Twitter
"Tänk dig en värld där varje människa på den här planeten får fri tillgång till världens samlade kunskap. Det är vårt mål."
Jimmy Wales
Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2014 13:08:25 +0200 From: jane023@gmail.com To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
I agree with Moriel in that "I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men." and there is a Wikimania submission that deals with this:
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/What_male_Wikipedians_c...
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:19 PM, A. Mani a.mani.cms@gmail.com wrote:
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:31 PM, Leigh Honeywell leigh@hypatia.ca wrote:
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
I was thinking about a proper documentation of how it has happened -
should be written.
Even I know of instances in techtalk list.
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani
[Last_Name. First_Name Format]
CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS
HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in
Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
_______________________________________________
Gendergap mailing list
Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org
https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
_______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Lennart, That's too bad. One of the biggest causes of the gendergap is the lack of reliable sources to move new articles through the Wikipedia "recent changes page patrol" on any given project. The academic bias inherent in women-related subjects (and I mean anything from knitting patterns to health issues) means that it is very hard to locate such material. I have met time and again very creative male Wikipedians who not only find such sources, but who can do so quite easily. Jane
On Fri, Jul 4, 2014 at 1:15 PM, Lennart Guldbrandsson < l_guldbrandsson@hotmail.com> wrote:
Unfortunately, that talk was not accepted to Wikimania, despite quite high grades at the reviewing phase https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submission_review :-/ It seems that the gendergap issue instead is represented by:
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Internet_skills_and_the...
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Diversity_Workshop:_Gen...
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Gender_and_Beyond:_Buil...
and https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/Creative_Ways_to_Aliena...
Best wishes,
Lennart Guldbrandsson
070 - 207 80 05 http://www.elementx.se - arbete http://www.mrchapel.wordpress.com - personlig blogg Presentation http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anv%c3%83%c2%a4ndare:Hannibal @aliasHannibal http://twitter.com/AliasHannibal - på Twitter
"*Tänk dig en värld där varje människa på den här planeten får fri tillgång till **världens samlade kunskap* http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal:Huvudsida*. Det är vårt mål.*" Jimmy Wales
Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2014 13:08:25 +0200 From: jane023@gmail.com To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org
Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
I agree with Moriel in that "I don't know if we can deal or attempt to fix the gendergap issues in Wikipedia without engaging the men." and there is a Wikimania submission that deals with this:
https://wikimania2014.wikimedia.org/wiki/Submissions/What_male_Wikipedians_c...
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:19 PM, A. Mani a.mani.cms@gmail.com wrote:
On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 11:31 PM, Leigh Honeywell leigh@hypatia.ca wrote:
People's personal experiences don't need studies to back them up.
I was thinking about a proper documentation of how it has happened - should be written. Even I know of instances in techtalk list.
Best
A. Mani
A. Mani [Last_Name. First_Name Format] CU, ASL, AMS, ISRS, CLC, CMS HomePage: http://www.logicamani.in Blog: http://logicamani.blogspot.in/
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
_______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Since you've asked Derric...
When you posted your message, "Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?" - I was ready to steam in as I misinterpreted it.
I thought that - as a response to Carol's comment that women get hassled here and quit the list - you were saying, "We're not supposed to be talking about women getting hassled, we're supposed to be talking about why women leave." (I was going to say, "but they left precisely BECAUSE they were being hassled".)
Fortunately I read your next message in time not to steam in.
Perhaps instead of:
"Nemo and Carol both, I really don't like the direction that this discussion is going. Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?"
...something along the lines of,
"I'm sure there are lots of examples people could give of poor behaviour on this list. Since the purpose of this list is "...discussing solutions and exploring opportunities that may serve as a starting point to improve gender equity, increase the participation of women and trans women, and reduce the impact of the gender gap within Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons, and the 'free knowledge movement'." then perhaps we should discuss measures that would tackle such poor behaviour."
Also if you ask a white artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a white man. If you ask a black artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a black man. Neither are being racist. It's worth remembering that men - no matter how progressive or forward thinking - experience the world as men and women experience the world as women.
There's a well known workplace experiment where a group of men are put in one room and given a task and a group of women are put in another room and given the same task. The women invariably put everything on the coffee table in front of them, lean forward, and work collaboratively. Meanwhile in the men are choosing someone who will lead them, Mr Alpha Male then goes and stands by the white board taking ideas from the room. Neither room is being sexist, it is just how the respective genders like to work.
I also can't help but notice that solutions being put forward seem to be of the latter, male orientated 'from-the-top-down' variety.
Marie
From: datzrott@alizeepathology.com To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:05:00 -0400 Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
If you ask a black artist to paint a picture of a man they will most
likely paint a picture of a black man.
A tangent- but this is not strictly true! See: http://mediadiversified.org/2013/12/07/you-cant-do-that-stories-have-to-be-a...
On Sun, Jun 29, 2014 at 8:11 PM, Marie Earley eiryel@hotmail.com wrote:
Since you've asked Derric...
When you posted your message, "Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?"
- I was ready to steam in as I misinterpreted it.
I thought that - as a response to Carol's comment that women get hassled here and quit the list - you were saying, "We're not supposed to be talking about women getting hassled, we're supposed to be talking about why women leave." (I was going to say, "but they left precisely BECAUSE they were being hassled".)
Fortunately I read your next message in time not to steam in.
Perhaps instead of:
"Nemo and Carol both, I really don't like the direction that this
discussion is going. Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?"
...something along the lines of,
"I'm sure there are lots of examples people could give of poor behaviour
on this list. Since the purpose of this list is "...discussing solutions and exploring opportunities that may serve as a starting point to improve gender equity, increase the participation of women and trans women, and reduce the impact of the gender gap within Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons, and the 'free knowledge movement'." then perhaps we should discuss measures that would tackle such poor behaviour."
Also if you ask a white artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a white man. If you ask a black artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a black man. Neither are being racist. It's worth remembering that men - no matter how progressive or forward thinking - experience the world as men and women experience the world as women.
There's a well known workplace experiment where a group of men are put in one room and given a task and a group of women are put in another room and given the same task. The women invariably put everything on the coffee table in front of them, lean forward, and work collaboratively. Meanwhile in the men are choosing someone who will lead them, Mr Alpha Male then goes and stands by the white board taking ideas from the room. Neither room is being sexist, it is just how the respective genders like to work.
I also can't help but notice that solutions being put forward seem to be of the latter, male orientated 'from-the-top-down' variety.
Marie
From: datzrott@alizeepathology.com To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:05:00 -0400 Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of
meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on
Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Hi Marie -
After his last set of interactions with the mailing list, Derric has decided to leave it for the time being - so he won't receive your message unless you specifically send it to him. I honestly hope he chooses to return to the list in the future; after having some private conversations with him, I believe that his heart is very much in the right place, that he has a genuine desire to help improve the gendergap, and that his participation would likely benefit the list - and Wikimedia as a whole - more than the participation of many other men who have been on gendergap-l at one point or another (including quite recently.)
I don't know if you meant that you felt that my recent posts about changes in moderation seemed too topdown, or if you were referring to other things. If you were referring to my posts about moderation - the reason why the last few messages may seem top heavy is because in the past when we primarily tried to use an almost completely hands off approach, it led to a lot of women feeling unsafe participating in the list. We eventually transitioned to a more hands on approach than most other Wikimedia lists use, but one that was still significantly less hands-on than that used by many communities focusing on gender problems in tech and similar groups - and it lowered our the amount that the list felt unsafe to some participants to a degree, but still led to a lot of problems.
After talking with Liz (the other currently active list moderator) and a number of list members in private about how to try to create a safer space, there was fairly broad agreement that more active moderation could help. It's definitely more of a top-down approach than has been taken here previously, but the approaches that have been taken here previously have failed significantly at letting the list fulfill its purpose - mostly because of situations that Carol and various other people have described in various places, where a bottoms-up approach to organization has resulted in large numbers of women either leaving the list, feeling uncomfortable contributing openly to it, or just tuning it out and not reading it. Strong moderation goes against my gut feeling in many cases, but if it has a chance of minimizing the number of times that potentially valuable contributors are forced off the list because of the unregulated behavior of other contributors, I think it's something worth trying.
At the same time, we're not intending to set up an arbitrary set of community standards alone, but are intending to draft a basic version and then post it somewhere publicly for comment, discussion, and collaborative editing until we reach something that seems like it will be a useful document for the listserv. I guess it's also worth clarifying that although I sometimes voice my private opinions on an individual basis to the list, in the time that I have been a moderator there has never been a mod decision made that didn't have discussion between all active mods and their agreement that it was a worthwhile action to take. Decisions are usually announced by whichever mod feels like writing up a public message, but most mod decisions have represented the consensus of at least three mods (and we'll be announcing a new addition to the mod team shortly who I am incredibly glad volunteered to join us.)
Best, Kevin Gorman
On Sun, Jun 29, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Marie Earley eiryel@hotmail.com wrote:
Since you've asked Derric...
When you posted your message, "Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?"
- I was ready to steam in as I misinterpreted it.
I thought that - as a response to Carol's comment that women get hassled here and quit the list - you were saying, "We're not supposed to be talking about women getting hassled, we're supposed to be talking about why women leave." (I was going to say, "but they left precisely BECAUSE they were being hassled".)
Fortunately I read your next message in time not to steam in.
Perhaps instead of:
"Nemo and Carol both, I really don't like the direction that this
discussion is going. Can we please steer it back on topic and remember why we are all here?"
...something along the lines of,
"I'm sure there are lots of examples people could give of poor behaviour
on this list. Since the purpose of this list is "...discussing solutions and exploring opportunities that may serve as a starting point to improve gender equity, increase the participation of women and trans women, and reduce the impact of the gender gap within Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons, and the 'free knowledge movement'." then perhaps we should discuss measures that would tackle such poor behaviour."
Also if you ask a white artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a white man. If you ask a black artist to paint a picture of a man they will most likely paint a picture of a black man. Neither are being racist. It's worth remembering that men - no matter how progressive or forward thinking - experience the world as men and women experience the world as women.
There's a well known workplace experiment where a group of men are put in one room and given a task and a group of women are put in another room and given the same task. The women invariably put everything on the coffee table in front of them, lean forward, and work collaboratively. Meanwhile in the men are choosing someone who will lead them, Mr Alpha Male then goes and stands by the white board taking ideas from the room. Neither room is being sexist, it is just how the respective genders like to work.
I also can't help but notice that solutions being put forward seem to be of the latter, male orientated 'from-the-top-down' variety.
Marie
From: datzrott@alizeepathology.com To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:05:00 -0400 Subject: Re: [Gendergap] men on lists
Would anybody object to me hijacking this thread to use as a sort of
meta thread for what just happened? I have further questions and things to explain and get feedback on. I can start another thread if wanted.
This whole situation sort of reminds me of when I tried suggesting on
Wikitech-l that people make use of NVC and people were really offended. Like there my intention was never to come off as condescending, but apparently I am just really awful at not coming off that way via email. I'd like to work on that and also find out what sort of things men on this list can do to make the environment better are and in specific myself. I think a polite discussion of what just happened would help advance all of those goals.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
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On 6/23/2014 11:45 AM, Kathleen McCook wrote:
There is a tendency of men to disregard women's discussion of issues that affect them so, yes, men on a list like this can undermine its purpose.
--Kathleen
FYI, for those who want to read the early archives, they are linked from the bottom link - they start here: http://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/gendergap/2011-February/date.html
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