I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
My experience from hr wiki. On hr:wiki it is common fact that I am female and on commons there are my photos to confirm that fact. I have also more times appeared on television talking about Wikipedia. In public I always used only my nickname Roberta F.
My user page was vandalized in ugly ways (e.g. picture of naked breasts) and I think I'm only user of hr:wiki which received death threat (in 2009), and all I guess mainly because I am one of the women on Wikipedia. I have removed from wiki some personal information, and today I would recommend to every female wiki user to remain anonymous and keep all her private data to herself.
Roberta F.
2011/11/13 Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.com
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 5:41 PM, Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.com wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it. Thanks, Christine
The information you chose you provide in your userpage is enough to find in 10 secs your blog, twitter and your facebook with lousy privacy settings. Now is just useless to oversight the information on WP but you can still ask for if you want. You should call your church and tell them not to give/confirm your phone number to strangers.
The dude will probably read this (if he hunted down your phone number he knows how to google) and realize that emailing someone you don't know is perfectly fine but calling to his home is just big creppy stuff.
Cristina,
I will not try to give you any advice on this. But what I do in those cases (I already received lots of threaning e-mails and some phone calls - also several wiki-attacks) and basically what I do is inform the ISP (in case when I know the IP adress) or block any call from that number (in case of phone calls). And basically ignore it.
From my experience in pt.wiki, as long as you give them much attention,
they will never stop. So - in my case - ignore it works.
... but I - in your place - would remove the Userbox from the page, just in case. _____ *Béria Lima* Wikimedia Portugal http://wikimedia.pt (351) 963 953 042
*Imagine um mundo onde é dada a qualquer pessoa a possibilidade de ter livre acesso ao somatório de todo o conhecimento humano. Ajude-nos a construir esse sonho. http://wikimedia.pt/Donativos*
On 13 November 2011 20:41, Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.comwrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.comwrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote:
Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer < christinewmeyer@gmail.com> wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. In Norway you only need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about only that I am housewife, and mother .
Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online» and ask someone get stuff taken down.
Nina nina.wikipedia@gmail.com
Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote: Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.com wrote: I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
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Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. This really is a great list and I appreciate your support. I'm fairly confident that this isn't going to be as serious as the horrible experiences others have had with WP stalking. I suspect that all it is is some clueless guy with very little social skills who honestly didn't know that he was behaving inappropriately until I told him so. (Oh, wait--doesn't that describe most of WP?) <g> Hopefully, the one phone call will be all that will come of this. If it doesn't, I'll contact the WMF if further actions need to be taken. That being said, I've removed some of my identifying information on my userpage. I still think it's important to self-identify as a female, so I didn't remove that. My husband has been informed of what's happened. (He appreciated it, but had very little sympathy: "That's why I never put any of that information on the internet.") I intend on calling my church this morning. Again, thanks for the support and great advice. If the situation escalates, I'll keep you informed. Christine User:Figureskatingfan
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 4:45 PM, Nina Wikipedia nina.wikipedia@gmail.comwrote:
I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. In Norway you only need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about only that I am housewife, and mother .
Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online» and ask someone get stuff taken down.
Nina nina.wikipedia@gmail.com
Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote:
Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer < christinewmeyer@gmail.com> wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
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Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
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Wow, did everybody here just blame the victim? “If you had done x this wouldn't have happened.” No. This is exactly the point that keeps women from participating in everything, incluiding being visible in Wikipedia and talking openly about their interests!
It was inappropriate of the guy to stalk you and inappropriate of the church to confirm your number without your consent. It's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman!
Helga
On 14.11.2011, at 18:22, Christine Meyer wrote:
Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. This really is a great list and I appreciate your support. I'm fairly confident that this isn't going to be as serious as the horrible experiences others have had with WP stalking. I suspect that all it is is some clueless guy with very little social skills who honestly didn't know that he was behaving inappropriately until I told him so. (Oh, wait--doesn't that describe most of WP?) <g> Hopefully, the one phone call will be all that will come of this. If it doesn't, I'll contact the WMF if further actions need to be taken. That being said, I've removed some of my identifying information on my userpage. I still think it's important to self-identify as a female, so I didn't remove that. My husband has been informed of what's happened. (He appreciated it, but had very little sympathy: "That's why I never put any of that information on the internet.") I intend on calling my church this morning. Again, thanks for the support and great advice. If the situation escalates, I'll keep you informed. Christine User:Figureskatingfan
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 4:45 PM, Nina Wikipedia nina.wikipedia@gmail.com wrote: I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. In Norway you only need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about only that I am housewife, and mother .
Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online» and ask someone get stuff taken down.
Nina nina.wikipedia@gmail.com
Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote: Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.com wrote: I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
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I don't think this is so much "blaming the victim" as trying to help Christine to find a more comfortable situation, and some more general discussion on risk mitigation. I for one am flabbergasted that the church would have provided ANY information about ANY of its parishioners, and I believe this was the real crux of the problem. I don't think there was enough information on Christine's userpage to lead anyone straight there; however, she may have mentioned more on her blog (which was linked to her userpage).
Just as a general rule, one needs to keep in mind that much of the content on the internet is available to just about anyone. Even those who are very conservative about how much personal information they make available can still be on the receiving end of harassment, and nobody should *have* to lead a sheltered life.
Risker/Anne
On 15 November 2011 10:28, Helga Hansen helga@maedchenmannschaft.netwrote:
Wow, did everybody here just blame the victim? “If you had done x this wouldn't have happened.” No. This is exactly the point that keeps women from participating in everything, incluiding being visible in Wikipedia and talking openly about their interests!
It was inappropriate of the guy to stalk you and inappropriate of the church to confirm your number without your consent. It's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman!
Helga
On 14.11.2011, at 18:22, Christine Meyer wrote:
Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. This really is a great list and I appreciate your support. I'm fairly confident that this isn't going to be as serious as the horrible experiences others have had with WP stalking. I suspect that all it is is some clueless guy with very little social skills who honestly didn't know that he was behaving inappropriately until I told him so. (Oh, wait--doesn't that describe most of WP?) <g> Hopefully, the one phone call will be all that will come of this. If it doesn't, I'll contact the WMF if further actions need to be taken. That being said, I've removed some of my identifying information on my userpage. I still think it's important to self-identify as a female, so I didn't remove that. My husband has been informed of what's happened. (He appreciated it, but had very little sympathy: "That's why I never put any of that information on the internet.") I intend on calling my church this morning. Again, thanks for the support and great advice. If the situation escalates, I'll keep you informed. Christine User:Figureskatingfan
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 4:45 PM, Nina Wikipedia nina.wikipedia@gmail.comwrote:
I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. In Norway you only need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about only that I am housewife, and mother .
Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online» and ask someone get stuff taken down.
Nina nina.wikipedia@gmail.com
Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote:
Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer < christinewmeyer@gmail.com> wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
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-- Christine -- Christine W. Meyer christinewmeyer@gmail.com 208/310-1549
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Excellent point. I agree that it's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman, but it's about privacy and safety. I know men who as a rule don't put out personal information on the internet for similar reasons. Maybe I've gone to the other extreme by removing my infoboxes from my userpage, and I may put some of them back.
BTW, my church didn't confirm my number as I originally thought. When I spoke to the secretary yesterday (you all know she holds the most power in any church, right?), she reminded me that since I'm on a committee, my phone number has been published along with other members of the committee. It's definately something that needs to be addressed at our next meeting. Churches tend to be a little behind in knowing how to provide information and safety, so we need to learn. I'm willing to be the test case, at least in this situation which isn't all that serious.
Christine
On Tue, Nov 15, 2011 at 7:28 AM, Helga Hansen helga@maedchenmannschaft.netwrote:
Wow, did everybody here just blame the victim? “If you had done x this wouldn't have happened.” No. This is exactly the point that keeps women from participating in everything, incluiding being visible in Wikipedia and talking openly about their interests!
It was inappropriate of the guy to stalk you and inappropriate of the church to confirm your number without your consent. It's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman!
Helga
On 14.11.2011, at 18:22, Christine Meyer wrote:
Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. This really is a great list and I appreciate your support. I'm fairly confident that this isn't going to be as serious as the horrible experiences others have had with WP stalking. I suspect that all it is is some clueless guy with very little social skills who honestly didn't know that he was behaving inappropriately until I told him so. (Oh, wait--doesn't that describe most of WP?) <g> Hopefully, the one phone call will be all that will come of this. If it doesn't, I'll contact the WMF if further actions need to be taken. That being said, I've removed some of my identifying information on my userpage. I still think it's important to self-identify as a female, so I didn't remove that. My husband has been informed of what's happened. (He appreciated it, but had very little sympathy: "That's why I never put any of that information on the internet.") I intend on calling my church this morning. Again, thanks for the support and great advice. If the situation escalates, I'll keep you informed. Christine User:Figureskatingfan
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 4:45 PM, Nina Wikipedia nina.wikipedia@gmail.comwrote:
I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. In Norway you only need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about only that I am housewife, and mother .
Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online» and ask someone get stuff taken down.
Nina nina.wikipedia@gmail.com
Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:
Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you. I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web. Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know.
Risker/Anne
On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika likatikalikatika@gmail.com wrote:
Hi Christine,
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.
Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.
All the best to you.
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer < christinewmeyer@gmail.com> wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs. He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back. I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status. He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize. (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.) He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number.
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!" I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone. He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP. It's somewhat disconcerting to me. When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number. He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic. (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.) He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community. Freaky, huh?
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life. (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.) So that's what I'm doing now. I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now. I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.
Thanks, Christine -- Christine W. Meyer User: Figureskatingfan christinewmeyer@gmail.com
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Wow, did everybody here just blame the victim? “If you had done x this wouldn't have happened.” No. This is exactly the point that keeps women from participating in everything, incluiding being visible in Wikipedia and talking openly about their interests!
It was inappropriate of the guy to stalk you and inappropriate of the church to confirm your number without your consent. It's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman!
I should add that such stalking is not limited to women. I don’t deny it’s more likely, but I have been stalked as well. The acolytes of a notable banned user, a film producer who had at that point long been trying through a variety of ways, mostly disruptive, to get the article on himself deleted, tried to come after me when not only did I block one of his socks, I traced the IP to a prominent production company and referred his misuse of their network to security there, which apparently took it seriously (at the time, it would never have occurred to me that someone would constantly add material to an article about themselves accusing themselves of child molestation as a way (they thought) of getting the article deleted) ... I really thought I was being helpful).
Needless to say, he took umbrage at my going above and beyond our usual procedures (not usual for me, however ... I believe any egregious misuse of an entity’s computer systems to maliciously edit Wikipedia, use that usually violates terms of service, should be reported to the responsible personnel at those entities, and there are students at school districts throughout the US and Canada who’ve been disciplined as a result of reports I’ve made to the appropriate administrators). He complained about this on a forum thread at his website, and one of his acolytes apparently took it on himself to post a version of my home address (easily findable online since I use my real name and the region I live in on my userpage, and in any event a close examination of my edits would probably narrow down the community I live in, since I have heavily edited and expanded the article, and it remains on my watchlist) that was just incorrect enough to not be findable on Google. That person, or another, created a username with that address and, using it, inserted themselves into a talk-page discussion I was participating in. I later blocked the account and redacted the edits from the page. I can’t say I wasn’t a little unnerved by all this.
Daniel Case
P.S. I do think the real failure here was the church. They just gave out your phone number to some stranger who called? Without any apparent need for said stranger to use any [[social engineering]] skills? I would bring this up with the board of trustees or elders or whatever ... especially with this incident already having occurred, the church has serious liability exposure if it doesn’t make any policy changes before, say, this happens in the case of a stalker with much more malevolent intentions.