Wow, did everybody here just blame the victim? “If you had done x this wouldn't have happened.” No. This is exactly the point that keeps women from participating in everything, incluiding being visible in Wikipedia and talking openly about their interests!

It was inappropriate of the guy to stalk you and inappropriate of the church to confirm your number without your consent. It's not inappropriate to be visible as a woman!

Helga

On 14.11.2011, at 18:22, Christine Meyer wrote:

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. This really is a great list and I appreciate your support.
I'm fairly confident that this isn't going to be as serious as the horrible experiences others have had with WP stalking. I suspect that all it is is some clueless guy with very little social skills who honestly didn't know that he was behaving inappropriately until I told him so. (Oh, wait--doesn't that describe most of WP?) <g> Hopefully, the one phone call will be all that will come of this. If it doesn't, I'll contact the WMF if further actions need to be taken.
That being said, I've removed some of my identifying information on my userpage. I still think it's important to self-identify as a female, so I didn't remove that. My husband has been informed of what's happened. (He appreciated it, but had very little sympathy: "That's why I never put any of that information on the internet.") I intend on calling my church this morning.
Again, thanks for the support and great advice. If the situation escalates, I'll keep you informed.
Christine
User:Figureskatingfan

 
On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 4:45 PM, Nina Wikipedia <nina.wikipedia@gmail.com> wrote:
I have got some calls about Wikipedia. I was in the board in Wikimedia Norway some years and president 1 year and got calls for journalists and other people those years. The last call I got about 1 week ago was from a woman who wanted to use one of my pictures in a book and ask me if it is ok. 
In Norway you only  need to have a persons name to get the number : http://www.gulesider.no/person/resultat/nina+Aldin+Thune  I have never told much about my family in the userpages. http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruker:Nina  , https://plus.google.com/109860657201319190669/about  only that I am housewife, and mother . 

Those calls have never been a problem, but I can understand that it could be, so as Risker/Anne says  «reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online»  and ask someone  get stuff taken down.



Den 14. nov. 2011 kl. 00:58 skrev Risker:

Likewise, Christine, I stand ready to assist you.  I'd suggest that yes, you reconsider how much personal information you want to share about yourself online; remember, Wikipedia userpages aren't just on Wikipedia, they're spidered all over the web.  Once the information is out there, it's difficult to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak. 

Nonetheless, if you'd like help trying to get stuff taken down, let me know. 

Risker/Anne


On 13 November 2011 18:47, Lika Tika <likatikalikatika@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Christine,

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me not long ago (although not related to Wikimedia). If you need any help taking your personal information offline, please let me know, I'm more than happy to help.

Have you let the wiki admins know, it might be a good idea.

All the best to you.

On Sun, Nov 13, 2011 at 3:41 PM, Christine Meyer <christinewmeyer@gmail.com> wrote:
I've heard about this kind of thing happening to other women in Wikipedia, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me personally.  A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to me about what it was like being the parent of children with special needs.  He also said that he got my number from my church, so I told him that I was busy at the moment (which I was) and that he could call me back later.
 
Yesterday afternoon, he called me back.  I asked him where he got my number and how he found out about my parenting status.  He said that he read what I had written on Wikipedia about my children, and that he wanted to talk to me about it because he was also developmentally disabled and had some "syndrome" that I didn't recognize.  (It wasn't Asberger's, I don't think.)  He also said that he had gotten my number from "some church thing," and that they had confirmed my phone number. 
 
I told him that it was very inappropriate for him to call me, and he said, "Well, you said I could call you back!"  I answered that I was in the middle of something the first time he called me, repeated how inappropriate he was being, and that I wasn't willing to speak with him over the phone.  He said, "You said all that on Wikipedia," and I said that I didn't have my phone number there, to which he responded, "But your email address is there," and I said he could email me but calling me was again, inappropriate, and we hung up.
 
Like I said, it was the first time something like this has happened, even after more than four years of active participation in WP.  It's somewhat disconcerting to me.  When I think about it, this guy had to actively hunt down my phone number.  He looked at my userpage, which has infoboxes stating that I'm a parent of two children with developmental disabilities, that I live in a small town in Idaho, and that I'm Catholic.  (This makes me want to remove those infoboxes.)  He actually went to the trouble of calling one of the the two Catholic churches in my town and confirm my number with them, which they did quite honestly because I'm on a church committee and active in the community.  Freaky, huh?
 
I know that you need to tell people when something like this happens, especially people in your life.  (I haven't been able to tell my husband about it yet; he's been working all weekend and we're coming off of a particularly stressful family situation.)  So that's what I'm doing now.  I can totally see why so many women don't identify their gender on WP now.  I'd also like to get some advice from the members of this list, and to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and what they did about it.

Thanks,
Christine
--
Christine W. Meyer
User: Figureskatingfan
christinewmeyer@gmail.com


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christinewmeyer@gmail.com
208/310-1549

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