Well, no sysadmins have been found in the last two hours -- I suppose I'll try posting here to see if someone comes across it.
We're having massive db lag on enwiki, including a lag on usercontributions of several hours. At present, it appears that every server servicing enwiki is down except for ariel. Tim mentioned something about botched code from the last scap that killed samuel -- is this related to our current problems?
In any case, we need a server admin quite desperately, as enwiki is teetering on death at the moment ...