I assume your good faith, and I foresee its consequences. You couldn't employ your NVC skills because you were, quote, in a hurry, end quote. That means, NVC just doesn't work when it's needed. I don't think everyone here has a lot of spare time to mix original thoughts with a dump of meaningless requests and pardons. You want to share how you feel? I don't think it's the right place to do this. Don't ask to ask, just ask, and so on.
I think this and other responses to non-violent communication make a lot of sense. They're in line with the old quote "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." But this process takes years and we seem to be at the laugh and fight stage.
I think violence is a particularly efficient way of getting what you want. "Assume good faith" is just a way to apologize in advance for employing violence. And honestly, I come from a culture where violence is a totally acceptable form of communication, and I'm a violent communicator. I creep myself out when I try to not be violent, but I recognize that much harmony would result from adopting the principles of NVC. Anyway I don't have any opinion on either side of this discussion, just wanted to point out that the responses are to be expected. And to say to Derric thank you, your post was not in vain and it did not turn me off to the subject. On the contrary, it made me admire that more people are willing to try it.
On Tue, Feb 18, 2014 at 5:38 PM, Derric Atzrott < datzrott@alizeepathology.com> wrote:
Question for Derric: why didn't you formulate your suggestion using NVC?
I was excited and in a hurry. In retrospect I really think that I should have.
After reading some of the replies I felt rather disappointed and frustrated, and even a little sad as I didn't feel my need for understanding was met.
In the future I will try to take a little more time writing emails to the list. I'm sorry to anyone who felt offended by it or felt that my email was, well, violent. That was not my intention at all. I just began
myself
looking into and trying to practice NVC in the past six months or so,
and I
am, as of now, still not terribly great at it.
Again, I want to express my apologies, and I really hope that I didn't turn anyone off to the subject. I guess all I was really trying to say
in
that email is that when conversation on this list gets heated, I feel frustrated because my needs for calm and community are not met. I end up not wanting to participate because I don’t think that I will be heard or understood. I would like to request that people onlist look into strategies to help everyone get along, whether that is AGF, or NVC, or something else, does not matter as much to me. I suggested NVC because
it
has been a very useful tool for me in the past.
Thank you, Derric Atzrott
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