I think one of the big challenges is that strategies for coping with incivility on a day-to-day basis are often at odds with broader strategies to effect systemic change. Sometimes, the only way to get through a specific situation with one's sanity and dignity intact involves a bit of appeasing or lenience; but in the long run, appeasing and lenience make civility issues more difficult to solve. I don't think there's an easy answer to this tension, but I do think that talking about the various relevant experiences we've had will be useful; so I'm glad this discussion is taking place.
And that's just it - we have to explore this through systemic change and taking a broad look at everything and seeing what policies can be developed and changed. I have learned to channel my "mad as hell" mantra into "change change change" and it'll take time, but it's the best tool and the best weapon that I have (and the rest of us have!).
Being civil, having good manners and being nice to one another (wikilove baby!) should not be a "bad thing" and it seems that Wikipedia in some regards thinks it is. This isn't about censorship, it's about using the manners one's parents and so forth taught them (or at least my parents did) and being civil. What's so bad about that?
<3
Sarah