(Correction: the first "abstinence" userbox reads "This user practices abstinence", not ""This user practices abstinence but still has a healthy sex drive thank you very much."")

On Tue, May 14, 2013 at 11:01 AM, Katherine Casey < fluffernutter.wiki@gmail.com> wrote:

I've noticed that enwp has a *lot* of sexuality-related userboxen. Some of these are innocuous or positive (i.e. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/LGBTsupport), some seem to be a bit over-share-y (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_reluctant), and some seem downright creepy to me ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/girlfriendwish). When you put them together (for example, as found on the - real but anonymized - userpage excerpt here http://gyazo.com/fa31a70c0b5bf29600a3058ae6dc4d6e), you can very easily end up with what feels like a very, very sexualized userpage, which means a very, very sexualized user experience for anyone who visits that page. Reading the userpage that screenshot came from, for example, gave me the feeling that anyone female who speaks to that user is going to be evaluated for their sexual usefulness to the user.

Userboxen can be a sensitive issue, historically speaking, and everyone seems to draw the line differently between appropriate ones and inappropriate ones. I'm interested in getting some thoughts on where the line is, and on whether the ones that cross the line inappropriately sexualize the atmosphere on the project. My personal feeling is something along the lines of "Speaking out about your sexual identity is good, but I don't want to hear about what specific sexual characteristics you have or want your sexual partners to have". I'd welcome the lists's thoughts on whether any, some, or none of the following userboxen (not an exhaustive list of sexuality-related ones, just some I've pulled out as good examples of the question) are appropriate to have hosted and used on our projects:

• Abstinence:
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence ("This user
  practices abstinence but still has a healthy sex drive thank you very much.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_sex_drive ("This
  user practices abstinence but still has a healthy sex drive thank you very much.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_not_SRT ("This
  user practices abstinence for religious reasons, but disagrees with the Silver Ring Thing.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_unsure ("This
  user practices abstinence but is not sure whether through shyness or through moral choice.")
  • Fetishes/philias/sexual identity:
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/aquaphile ("This user is an
  aquaphile.")
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dark_Tichondrias/Userboxes/User_Cross-dres... user enjoys cross-dressing.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ISD/Userboxes/Dominant ("This
  user is a dominant." - also available in sub)
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Oxguy3/myboxes/Straight_not_narrow(%22This user is straight, but not narrow.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cadwaladr/Userboxes/Pornography(%22This user enjoys pornography.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/slut ("This user is a
  slut.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/swinger ("This user enjoys
  a varied sex life.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/yiff ("This user loves
  yiff, and is probably a furry.")
  • Preferences for sexual partners:
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bluedenim/Blondes ("This user
  considers blond hair to be attractive." - also available for brunnettes, redheads)
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/girlfriendwish ("This user
  wishes [they] had a girlfriend")
  • Miscellaneous sexuality-related:
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/safesex ("This user
  supports and encourages the practice of safe sex.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/sex ("This user enjoys
  sex.")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TBM10/Uncircumcised ("This user
  is proudly uncircumcised")
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sugar_Bear/Userboxes/User_varied_sex(%22Th... user enjoys a varied sex life. (Alternating between hands constitutes varied, right?)")
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:User_Single ("This user is
  single")

"Straight but not narrow" is not necessarily fetish/philia related: people saying they are straight but not narrow often means they are straight but support gay rights. But that's just a side issue.

I have a gay userbox/category on my user profile for a few reasons: because I use it as a litmus test of whether I want to participate in Wikipedia (if the community cannot accept me as I am, I'll find something else to do with my time), because I try and practice a life of openness (I edit in my real name, and take the extra risk that comes with that, so why the fuck shouldn't I be out?) and because I hope that if there are users who are LGBT and need support or just a kind ear from an admin who can empathise with them, they can find me and email me.

The difference between having a "This user is gay" userbox and a "This user is single and wants to find a girlfriend" userbox is the underlying point of mating that declaration. The motivation for having the former on my userpage isn't to, say, find sexual or romantic partners. (Not that having someone in my life with an encyclopedic knowledge of something wouldn't be useful at times…)

Even though I can see a very worthwhile point in listing that I am gay on my userpage (as listed above). I can't quite see how a userbox proudly proclaiming my sexual activities serves any great goal in building an encyclopedia. Nobody is actually going to get a date from a userbox, and beyond that, I can't quite see any real use for them. I just hope that we don't throw the useful baby (things like LGBT userboxes) out with the bathwater.

Yours,

-- Tom Morris http://tommorris.org/

On Tuesday, 14 May 2013 at 16:01, Katherine Casey wrote:

I've noticed that enwp has a lot of sexuality-related userboxen. Some of these are innocuous or positive (i.e. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/LGBTsupport), some seem to be a bit over-share-y (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_reluctant), and some seem downright creepy to me (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/girlfriendwish). When you put them together (for example, as found on the - real but anonymized - userpage excerpt here (http://gyazo.com/fa31a70c0b5bf29600a3058ae6dc4d6e)), you can very easily end up with what feels like a very, very sexualized userpage, which means a very, very sexualized user experience for anyone who visits that page. Reading the userpage that screenshot came from, for example, gave me the feeling that anyone female who speaks to that user is going to be evaluated for their sexual usefulness to the user.

Userboxen can be a sensitive issue, historically speaking, and everyone seems to draw the line differently between appropriate ones and inappropriate ones. I'm interested in getting some thoughts on where the line is, and on whether the ones that cross the line inappropriately sexualize the atmosphere on the project. My personal feeling is something along the lines of "Speaking out about your sexual identity is good, but I don't want to hear about what specific sexual characteristics you have or want your sexual partners to have". I'd welcome the lists's thoughts on whether any, some, or none of the following userboxen (not an exhaustive list of sexuality-related ones, just some I've pulled out as good examples of the question) are appropriate to have hosted and used on our projects:

Abstinence: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence ("This user practices abstinence but still has a healthy sex drive thank you very much.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_sex_drive ("This user practices abstinence but still has a healthy sex drive thank you very much.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_not_SRT ("This user practices abstinence for religious reasons, but disagrees with the Silver Ring Thing.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/abstinence_unsure ("This user practices abstinence but is not sure whether through shyness or through moral choice.") Fetishes/philias/sexual identity: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/aquaphile ("This user is an aquaphile.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dark_Tichondrias/Userboxes/User_Cross-dres... ("This user enjoys cross-dressing.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ISD/Userboxes/Dominant ("This user is a dominant." - also available in sub) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Oxguy3/myboxes/Straight_not_narrow ("This user is straight, but not narrow.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cadwaladr/Userboxes/Pornography ("This user enjoys pornography.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/slut ("This user is a slut.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/swinger ("This user enjoys a varied sex life.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/yiff ("This user loves yiff, and is probably a furry.") Preferences for sexual partners: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bluedenim/Blondes ("This user considers blond hair to be attractive." - also available for brunnettes, redheads) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/girlfriendwish ("This user wishes [they] had a girlfriend") Miscellaneous sexuality-related: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/safesex ("This user supports and encourages the practice of safe sex.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:UBX/sex ("This user enjoys sex.") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TBM10/Uncircumcised ("This user is proudly uncircumcised") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sugar_Bear/Userboxes/User_varied_sex ("This user enjoys a varied sex life. (Alternating between hands constitutes varied, right?)") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:User_Single ("This user is single") _______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org (mailto:Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org) https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap