Laura, I hope you dont feel bad. Whether people agree or not, you were sharing your perspective, and thats one of the reasons for this list, so women on Wikipedia can feel more empowered to voice their opinion. And the men - don't feel bad either, we are dealign with issues that permeates human history, and thank you for caring about them.
As a Latina who basically grew up in the civil rights aftermath, I see there are some wholes that may be responsible for some of the tension we have experienced on this list. I say this, b/c I've belonged to various groups focused on empowering people of color, and there are certain unspoken rules that I don't think may be common sense for some people in this group. Why are these unspoken rules important? Well, because they provide the gel necessary to work effectively in groups were the emotional component is just as important as the practical one. Unfortunately, sexism and racism are not logical problems, and can be treated only in logical ways. These are my recommendations:
* Lets create a manifesto together: Why? Because it will allow us to create together a certain description of the type of culture we want this group to embrace, and provide a more cohesive unity that unfortunately is some times hard to do non-verbally through internet based interaction.
* Lets accept that people are going to vent, voice their anger, or frustration at times. This does not mean that this is how they feel 100% of the time. For example, as a Latina I can voice my frustration over discriminations I've experienced but this doesn't mean I want an all out race war. I can voice my anger over the poverty minorities have experienced b/c of descrimination, but this doesn't mean that I want other people to be poor instead.
* Lets accept that we need to empower women to feel more comfortable voicing their opinion. If you are someone who already had a loud voice, great, but there is a good percentage of women that would appreciate this type of support. This doesn't mean they are "weaker" this just means that culturally we have been told that our opinion doesn't matter, and we need a little nudge.
* Lets accept that women know women better than men. All viewpoints are valid, but lets understand that experiencing the world as a woman is much different than experiencing the world as a man.
* Lets accept that the men on this list are trying to become better feminist, and are open to guidance. Just like I have had to explain to non-ethnic friends that certain behaviors are not appropriate, we may have to do it with a few of the guys. However, it seems that they are open to becoming better feminist.
Lastly, lets accept that we will clash heads at time - but so what!! We are on the SAME TEAM! lol
LETS ROCK OUT!! We can do it!
sandy