Sarah,
Yes those conversations were a real trial for me--it was like knocking my head against a brick wall. And while I had some friends and knew of a great number of people who wanted to see these categories put in place, I was not allowed to let them know where the conversation was going on due to canvassing rules.
I think you are interpreting the canvassing rules too strictly; what they discourage is broadcast appeals for help to everyone who might have a common interest, to all women editors, for example. Dropping a note to editors you know, or have worked with in the past on common issues, to WikiProject Feminism, or to this list is acceptable.
Fred