I think Adrianne has a point. Both methods work.
One small example:
On a wiki meetup in Gothenburg (where there for some unexplained reason are always more women present than at the ones in Stockholm - different women, not just the same), I mentioned the gendergap issue to one of the female newcomers. She was not interested at all in the issue, since she felt that her edits should stand on their own merit, not be based on her gender. (Which made me feel like a creep for bringing the issue up.)
My lesson was that some women are very inspired by the gendergap issue, while some are not and in fact feel like they are only being appreciated because of their gender and not because of their knowledge. As a man, it's very hard to argue on any side of that issue, I feel. I guess it's a matter of making it personal for the person you're talking to and not painting everyone with the same brush.
Best wishes,
Lennart Guldbrandsson
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From: wadewitz@gmail.com Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 21:08:44 -0700 To: gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org Subject: [Gendergap] On how to make women feel welcome
I'm not sure that registering and having enclosed spaces is the best way to make women feel welcome. I'm sure that might make some women feel that way, but at the Wiknic we had in LA, for example, far more women who had never edited and not signed up for the event just dropped by because we were in a park and looked inviting. Yes, Wikipedians can look inviting! (I don't think it hurt that there were other women there, either.) I think there is room for both approaches.
Adrianne