>
>>> on 4/11/07 4:33 PM, Christopher G. Parham at cparham(a)fas.harvard.edu wrote:
>>>
>>>> Perhaps if people are made to feel their opinions are worthless, they
>>>> will respond by developing opinions that are less subject to that
>>>> characterization. People whose contributions to the process are not
>>>> reasonable and thoughtful damage the process by their participation, and
>>>> coddling them by insisting on equal valuation of their opinions is
>>>> counterproductive.
>>>
> On 4/11/07, Marc Riddell <michaeldavid86(a)comcast.net> wrote:
>
>>> HOLY HELL! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!?!!
>>
> on 4/13/07 8:05 AM, Tony Sidaway at tonysidaway(a)gmail.com wrote:
>
>> Gosh, I certainly hope so!
On 4/13/07, Marc Riddell <michaeldavid86(a)comcast.net> wrote:
Tony,
If I interpreted your response correctly, my question is this:
Are you in favor of making people feel their opinions are worthless?
on 4/13/07 5:42 PM, Tony Sidaway at tonysidaway(a)gmail.com wrote:
If their opinions are worthless, and as a result of
this they
recognise this and develop more persuasive, reasonable opinions, I'd
say that this is pretty much the process that you and I go through
every day. It's beneficial and leads to improved thought and dialog.
I am in favor of this.
Tony,
I am still struggling with the use of the word "worthless". If it is used in
relation to a person, it can be the button that shuts down any further
constructive communication with that person. If we could eliminate that word
from the equation, and perhaps substitute a healthier one, I believe we
would find we basically agree.
Many, many persons struggle with self-concepts; and one of these
self-concepts is self-worth. They also associate everything to do with
themselves - from their looks, to their income and job title, to their
education and intelligence (to cite just a few) - to this concept of
self-worth. Therefore, when such a person hears their opinion is "worthless"
they read this emotionally as "you are worthless" - and this is painful.
You are right, I challenge peoples' opinions of themselves every single day.
But, in my work, they are called beliefs. A major part of my task with
someone is to show them how these beliefs (opinions) of themself are getting
in the way of achieving the goal: emotional health.
Marc
--
³Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.²
Eleanor Roosevelt