on 4/11/07 4:33 PM, Christopher G. Parham at cparham@fas.harvard.edu wrote:
Perhaps if people are made to feel their opinions are worthless, they will respond by developing opinions that are less subject to that characterization. People whose contributions to the process are not reasonable and thoughtful damage the process by their participation, and coddling them by insisting on equal valuation of their opinions is counterproductive.
On 4/11/07, Marc Riddell michaeldavid86@comcast.net wrote:
HOLY HELL! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!?!!
on 4/13/07 8:05 AM, Tony Sidaway at tonysidaway@gmail.com wrote:
Gosh, I certainly hope so!
On 4/13/07, Marc Riddell michaeldavid86@comcast.net wrote:
Tony,
If I interpreted your response correctly, my question is this:
Are you in favor of making people feel their opinions are worthless?
on 4/13/07 5:42 PM, Tony Sidaway at tonysidaway@gmail.com wrote:
If their opinions are worthless, and as a result of this they recognise this and develop more persuasive, reasonable opinions, I'd say that this is pretty much the process that you and I go through every day. It's beneficial and leads to improved thought and dialog. I am in favor of this.
Tony,
I am still struggling with the use of the word "worthless". If it is used in relation to a person, it can be the button that shuts down any further constructive communication with that person. If we could eliminate that word from the equation, and perhaps substitute a healthier one, I believe we would find we basically agree.
Many, many persons struggle with self-concepts; and one of these self-concepts is self-worth. They also associate everything to do with themselves - from their looks, to their income and job title, to their education and intelligence (to cite just a few) - to this concept of self-worth. Therefore, when such a person hears their opinion is "worthless" they read this emotionally as "you are worthless" - and this is painful.
You are right, I challenge peoples' opinions of themselves every single day. But, in my work, they are called beliefs. A major part of my task with someone is to show them how these beliefs (opinions) of themself are getting in the way of achieving the goal: emotional health.
Marc