Jussi-Ville Heiskanen wrote:
geni wrote:
2009/5/5 wjhonson@aol.com:
-----Original Message----- From: FT2 ft2.wiki@gmail.com To: English Wikipedia wikien-l@lists.wikimedia.org Sent: Tue, 5 May 2009 12:35 am Subject: Re: [WikiEN-l] Twitterpedia will win
Redundant text - "the X war was a war" duh :) Try this:
"The Peloponnesian War (Ancient Greece, 431-404BC), took place between Athens and its empire, against the Eponymous League led by Sparta. Rock on!">>
Why do you have to state "Ancient Greece" ? And remove "The" Also "was" is much shorter than "took place"
"Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athens and its empire, against the Spartan-led Eponymous League."
"Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athens and its empire vs Spartan-led Eponymous League."
"Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athenian empire vs. Spartan-led forces."
Yours,
Jussi-Ville "This is SPARTA!!!" Heiskanen