On 5/14/07, Marc Riddell michaeldavid86@comcast.net wrote:
On May 14, 2007, at 4:57 AM, William Pietri wrote:
I think this is very important advice, and too rarely followed.
From my layman's perspective, a lot of these difficult kooks only really focus on contention. Not on disagreement or thwarting them as such, but the social signals of contention. Maintaining a friendly and helpful attitude while continuously disengaging can keep you in the 99.9% of the world that they ignore.
William
on 5/14/07 3:45 PM, jf_wikipedia at jf_wikipedia@mac.com wrote:
Excellent advise. I thank you for that. I have experience many of these that *enjoy* both the attention and the contention, and feed on it avidly. I wish I can garner the strength and clarity not to get baited...
Jossi,
Learn your vulnerable spots - we all have them. They are like bruises on the body; when touched > we react. Learn that reaction. When communicating with someone, if you feel that reaction: Stop > Know what it is > Acknowledge it to yourself > Take a breath > and Stay on subject.
People who want to manipulate you, or take you off a subject they don't want to deal with, or consider it a sign of power over you, will push until they find a bruise. A friend and/or someone who truly wants to communicate with you will deliberately try to avoid any spot they think might be a bruise - especially if they have a similar one of their own.
Marc Riddell
-- Remember: We teach people how to treat us.
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Further all this, an interesting study: http://www.ns.umich.edu/htdocs/releases/story.php?id=3209
Excess testosterone can cause you to feel happy when people make angry faces at you...