G'day Joe,
Was this change in public tone and approach to BLP, DRV, et al discussedanywhere beyond this mailing list and on-wiki? Any other maillists, or IRC? It seems that suddenly a collection of senior people that work together are all on a unified page on something which is going to be very contententiousto many individuals. If this is the New Way, would one of you be so good as to specifically modify WP:BLP with these changes, to see if the communityaccepts them?
Wikis in general, including MediaWiki in particular, are very poor for conducting discussions. It's inevitable, and desirable, that there will be discussion --- even discussion between "a collection of senior people" --- about Wikipedia in other areas, be it mailing lists, IRC, Wikimania, or around the kitchen table after work.
I am unable or unwilling to access many of the fora used for off-wiki discussion --- for example, I have no wish to join foundation-L (unwilling); I am not allowed to join the arbcom list (unable). Likewise, you are not willing or able to join IRC --- or many of the other areas where off-wiki discussion occurs. This does not cause me any stress. It seems to stress you a great deal.
If something is discussed and/or agreed to in a forum that doesn't involve me, I say: fine. Now show me your reasoning and explain to me why I should accept what you said elsewhere. I don't say: You can't do that! We should shut down that mailing list/channel/kitchen table!
Off-wiki discussion is a Good Thing. You're worried about being locked out, and that's a legitimate concern. But the solution isn't to complain about off-wiki discussion, as you have repeatedly and shrilly done. The solution is for those who engage in off-wiki discussion to ensure, if they want to be taken seriously, that they explain themselves just as well on-wiki as they did off.
Compare: "I have made Decision X after discussion on IRC" "I have made Decision X because I believe it is the Right Thing to do. As discussed on IRC, this is the Right Thing because of Y, Z, A, and B."
Unexplained decisions are a problem whether accompanied by oogedy-boogedy about off-wiki discussion or not. Let's focus on the *real* problem and stop deriding useful means of communication.
Cheers,