On the main [[Extreme Programming]] list, people often discuss organizational change and dealing with difficult people is part of that. This bit, copied with permission, seems pretty appropriate for us, too:

Cory Foy wrote:

David Carlton wrote:

...

In aikido, you lead the mind away by physical means, though these are always as gentle as possible. The idea is not to further upset the person or draw more attention to yourself, as stiff resistance or a punch would do. In fact, skilled aikidoists often disable their attackers without even touching them, which of course is what you want to do with someone who is blaming you.

I have a friend who was in his garage with his wife one day. One of their neighbors came screeching up the road in his car, stopped in front of their house, and jumped out and began screaming at them, obviously extremely upset about something.

My friend and his wife backed up further in the garage, but the man continued to approach. My friend then started to look for something to defend himself with, just in case, but luckily his training as a therapist took over and he disabled the man with the following:

"Would you like a fresh home-baked cookie? We just took them out of the oven."

The man stopped and looked at them quizzically, then proceded to turn around, get back in his car, and tore off down the road.

Of course, it's even better when they take the cookie.

William