The main page vandalism problem is becoming a reason why I'm becoming reluctant to submit articles to WP:FAC or strive for that as my goal. And, I'm aware of other featured articles where the author(s) have understandably expressed wishes that the article not be showcased on the main page.
{{subst}}ing the templates is worth doing, though perhaps not enough to address concerns. I'm not sure what the best, technically feasible option is...