You're seriously being an asshole with your offensive comparison.
ArmedBlowfish's "rape" analogy is trolling, pure and simple and Jay should stop posting this troll's comments immediately.
On 8/2/07, jayjg jayjg99@gmail.com wrote:
ArmedBlowfish's response:
You apparently didn't understand it. I'm the last person who would trivialise rape. I've known quite a number of victims of rape... I know the pain they go through not only when it happens, not only in the shame society has caused them to feel about sex, but also in the reactions of others - the disbelief, the abandonment, the blame, the insults. 'The second rape'.
I also know victims of other forms of abuse. Beneath the details of exactly how the abuse occurred, the psychology is the same. Of course each person handles it in their own unique way... but there are common threads.
Armed Blowfish
On 8/2/07, Stephen Park stephenpark15@gmail.com wrote:
This is an absolutely appalling and inappropriate analogy that is incredibly insensitive to actual victims of rape. Armed Blowfish should apologize for writing it and Jay should apologize for posting it. What in the world were you guys thinking?
As a man I'm embarrassed and ashamed that someone would trivialize rape in this manner.
Now stop it.
On 8/1/07, jayjg jayjg99@gmail.com wrote:
Armed Blowfish apparently get e-mails through to the list, and has asked me to forward this.
---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Armed Blowfish diodontida.armata@googlemail.com Date: Aug 1, 2007 10:03 PM Subject: The Second Rape: Victim-Blaming (was Re: [WikiEN-l] Self-sensorship, how far should it go?) To: jayjg99@gmail.com
I am truly depressed by the lack of support SlimVirgin is receiving from certain individuals on this list, but at the same time, not surprised. Victim-blaming has a long and horrific history. When it happens to rape victims, it is called 'the second rape'... to victims of assault, 'the second assault'... or, to cover all situations, victim-blaming or secondary victimisation.
The far-too-frequent society response to victims of rape, violence and harassment - to abandon her, to blame her, to insult her - is severely psychologically damaging to the victim, and helps keep perpetrators safe to continue these abuses.
The experience of Serena, who was ultimately banned from her classrooms and friends after being raped: http://www.justicewomen.com/cj_second_rape.html
An introduction to the phenomena of 'The Second Rape', geared towards helping victims deal with it, and explaining why it happens, along with a few typical examples: http://www.justicewomen.com/help_special_rape.html#two
Some survey results on the topic of secondary victimisation: http://www.musc.edu/vawprevention/research/victimrape.shtml
On 01/08/07, Andrew Gray shimgray@gmail.com wrote:
On 01/08/07, jayjg jayjg99@gmail.com wrote:
I don't see any good coming from giving into trolls and stalkers. The fact that a bunch of disgruntled, mostly banned ex-Wikipedians like to spin conspiracy theories, and occasionally disrupt Wikipedia, should simply be ignored. Not discussed on Wikipedia, not discussed here, just ignored.
"Ignored" is one thing. "Silenced" just feeds the fire.
I note this thread began because a debate about Slim's identity, and the massive efforts gone to to conceal edits associated with her, *was on the front page of slashdot*. (Slashdot. Not Wikipedia Review, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, or anyone else; Slashdot, perhaps a classic example of our "natural supporters".) This led to a large amount of curiosity amongst our community. But a small group of people cracked down heavily on anyone trying to say "what the fuck is going on here?" on the wiki... which just further encouraged speculation about those efforts to conceal something.
An excerpt from the song 'The Second Rape' by Aus-Rotten: Defense attorney: Do you know the man who "allegedly" attacked you? Victim: Yes I know the man who raped me. Defense attorney: And isn't this man a friend of yours? Victim: Well I thought he was a friend of mine. Defense attorney: And were you drinking that night he 'allegedly" attacked you? Victim: I had a drink or two but is that a crime? Defense attorney: I'll ask the questions if you don't mind! -What were you wearing: How did you act? Victim: My wardrobe isn't an invitation for a man to attack. -I didn't act in any way to bring this on. Why am I on trail? What did I do wrong? Defense attorney: Could you tell the jury why you let this happen? Victim: I was in shock. I couldn't stop him. Defense attorney: You claim that you were raped but how do we know? Victim: I said no, I said no, no, no! Defense attorney: Isn't it true you're just a woman scorned? Victim: I'm a woman who's been raped and torn. Defense attorney: Your honor, I demand that this case be dismissed, -it all comes down to her word against his!
In the above, the attorney's questions are fairly typical - the victim's strength, not so typical. If you don't mind a long read, this paper is enlightening: http://www.yale.edu/ynhti/curriculum/units/1981/3/81.03.06.x.html#c
If you honestly don't see that this sort of behaviour is wasteful, counterproductive, inflammatory and - in the long run - just poisoning our reputation, then I am afraid my complaints are hopeless. But, by god, they were worth making.
At some point in the past, people fucked up, made enemies or handled something badly or just been unlucky in who they dealt with. Things have moved on, and developed, and we're now in a situation where they have no choice but to look foolish, or keep harming the project. The only reasonable solution here is for them to stop and walk away. Sooner or later, they have to realise this.
Just as the officials at Serena's school drove her out - putting her in independent study, banning her from her classrooms and friends - after she was raped by a classmate.
I will say it again - the people we are looking bad to now aren't the people who already thought the worst of us. We're now beginning to look like incompetent spiteful twerps to neutral third parties, and I see no indication it's ever going to improve. Essjay got us faintly amused newspaper coverage - what will "Wikipedia Covers Up Unknown Misdemeanours" look like?
The project is bigger than them, it is more important than a username, and I will not stand by to see it dragged down to protect their pride.
--
- Andrew Gray andrew.gray@dunelm.org.uk
On the contrary, secondary victimisation is far more damaging not only to Wikipaedia, but to all of society. It teaches the perpetrators that they can get away with it, and the victims that they can't expect help. It helps abuse continue - both by participating in victimisation of current victims and by making it easier for future victimisation to occur to new victims.
And yet, far too often, victims are abandoned and blamed in the name of society... it's her fault the football team is calling her a ho... it's her fault a crime occurred against her in her own apartment... it's her fault she got raped.
Thanks for listening, Armed Blowfish
P.S. While I don't believe Andrew means to hurt anyone, people often hurt others without meaning to. Hence my attempt to explain why it hurts, in the hopes that this will stop.
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