George Herbert wrote:
While I agree that the mishandling of stalking / abuse situations has largely gotten us where we are today, I would have hoped to see people make that point in a civil and respectful manner rather than crossing the line into blaming the vicitms as you did above, Phil.
This was not constructive, even if it was wrapped around an important point.
I'm glad you're pushing for civility, but I think you might be misusing the phrase a little, George.
Traditionally, "blaming the victim" involves saying the victim deserved the bad things that happened to them. The classic example is saying that a rape victim "was asking for it", perhaps by the way she dressed. That's an abhorrent thing.
What I heard Phil expressing was his dissatisfaction with her behavior in response to her maltreatment. And more strongly, he was condemning his behavior and that of others in response to what she did. So although he did assign SV part of the blame for what went on, I don't think he was blaming the victim in the usual sense of that term.
William