I just happened to get the muse for a topical song... enjoy! (NOTE: This is my original work, and I hereby release it under GFDL in case anybody wants to make some sort of use of it.)
(To the tune of the [[Major-General's Song]])
I am the very model of a modern Wikipedian, My knowledge of things trivial is way above the median, I know, and care, what Kelly Clarkson's next CD might just be called, And all the insults Hilary and Lindsay to each other bawled. I'm very well acquainted, too, with memes upon the Internet, I think the dancing hamster would be excellent as a pet. About the crackpots' physics I am teeming with a lot o' news, The Time Cube has but four sides and it's not got a hypotenuse.
I'm very good at grammar, and I spell all words right to a "T", Even when they're done all weirdly from the far side of the sea. In short, in matters big and small, minute or sesquipedelian, I am the very model of a modern Wikipedian.
I know how to "Ignore All Rules", except when I'm enforcing 'em, I know which version's wrong to be protected by those bossing 'em. I show respect for all admins, except the ones who have gone "rouge", But I still wish they'd let us keep the U.K. girl whose face has spooge. Jimbo is our own God-King; the things he says are always right, But I still think that Brian Peppers should be listed in our site.
I'm good at edit-warring, and I stay within the 3RR, I know just how to make you show just what a troll you really are, In short, in matters big and small, minute or sesquipedelian, I am the very model of a modern Wikipedian.
In fact, when I know why the elephant count changes really fast, Why anarchists are socialists... or not, based on whose edit's last, Is Oscar Gutierrez 5'2", 5'3", 5'5", or maybe 5'4"? I need to know so I can win that very lamest edit war! But when I know at least as much on conflicts Peloponnesian, as I do about characters in Galactica's latest season, When I finally learn something that matters in academia You'll say a better Wikipedian has never came by here.
For my formal education, though I'm certainly no fool, Has not yet been advanced anywhere further than high school; But still, in matters big and small, minute or sesquipedelian, I am the very model of a modern Wikipedian.