Hi Everyone:
First of all, Claire sends her love and gratitude for all the messages that
you have sent: every word brings solace.
We’re coming up from the initial shock, so I want to give a little more
detail about what happened here in Scottsdale.
In the middle of April, Lou was told that he would need a heart valve
replacement. As preparations were made, a couple of conditions needed to be
addressed first: an infection in his leg, and then a blood clot that was
discovered behind his knee. Claire had asked me to come to Scottsdale to
give her caregivers (Josh, Nicki, Melissa, Jorge) a little help while Lou
was in the hospital, and then to provide my Gestapo services by enforcing a
No Donut Rule after he was released.
I arrived on May 10. Lou had the clot removed on May 11. The procedure went
well, and the next day he was scheduled for release. I picked him up from
the hospital and brought him home at 2:00 p.m. on May 12. He rested,
talked, laughed, and kvetched about the tedium of hospitals with Claire,
me, and Jorge. (I include a picture that I grabbed from that moment.) He
looked the best he looked in many weeks. After a while, I went down the
street to pick up some prescriptions for him. While I was gone, they
arranged for one of their favorite activities: an evening drive through the
gentle foothills below the McDowell Mountains. They expected to return
around 6:00, so I prepared dinner. After they got back, Lou took a shower.
I was reading in the room next to his dressing room, and I saw him exit the
bathroom – at 81, wow, still, hubba hubba – to get dressed. After a couple
of minutes, I heard a fall and I hurried to his room: he had collapsed
against the wall and was on the ground. I called out to the caregivers:
Jorge tried to revive him, Nicki (who had JUST arrived for her shift)
called 911, handed me the phone, and immediately began CPR. The local
police, fire department, medical services all arrived in about 5 minutes.
They took over CPR and began to prepare him for transport to the Emergency
Room, just two miles down the street. As this was happening, I went in to
Claire, who was in her bed and couldn’t see what was happening. She
intuited that the situation was dire, and she was correct. By the time they
got Lou to the ER, he was beyond recovery. I followed the ambulance to the
hospital, received the news from the attending physician, returned home,
and informed Claire. Nicki and I then got her to her wheelchair and took
her back to the ER, where she could see him one last time and spend some
final moments with him as warmth and spirit left his body.
She is, of course, devastated. This event was sudden, unexpected, and
shocking because we thought Lou was on the mend.
The last few days have been rough, but she’s resting and the caregivers and
I are providing her as much comfort as we can, while also attending to the
business required. Nicki is still getting her into the pool for a few
moments a day: that’s where her energy is highest, and the buoyancy of the
water gives her mobility and improves her communication. She connects there
with the many people in the community who love her and Lou. They are also
grieving his loss. She’s receiving many installments of food and
condolences during the day. Tim Sabo, Claire’s brother, came over from
Dallas, Monday till Tuesday, to provide consolation from the family and to
lead a phone discussion with her dad and stepmom about Claire’s short-term
and long-term needs.
I will be here for about two more weeks. Her dear friend Geri is preparing
to travel from Berkeley to stay with her around the time I leave. Another
friend, Naz, is standing by to stay a few days. We want to make sure that
Claire has a friend near her now, in addition to the amazing caregivers,
who provide 24-hour attention. They are shining and strong individuals, and
skilled, talented, and emotionally simpatico professionals. She feels
blessed to have them in her life right now.
However, we’re all concerned about the mid-term, from early June on. Claire
would like to ask members of the Winedale community if anyone can come to
Scottsdale for an extended stay. She needs help with some things that Lou
used to do: routine paperwork; simple day-to-day tasks, like grocery
shopping, managing food delivery, prescription pickup, etc.; occasional
wheelchair walks; communication with the caregivers, and to others through
emails and texts; watch TV in the evening; help navigate emotional waters
… – sImple stuff that enables her connection with the world as she
explores her new normal.
Claire would cover the travel expenses, and there’s a comfortable bedroom
at the other end of the house. There’s a beautiful pool. The Greyhawk
Encore residents are wonderful people and together make up a furious trivia
team for daily play with Amazon Alexa. There’s the austere tranquility of
the Sonoran Desert, where Middle and Late Cenozoic extensional tectonism
has provided the massy bones for some amazing geological scenery: you can
see 1.4 BILLION–year-old (BILLION with a “B”) granite uplifted in nearby
Pinnacle Peak. (Claire loves it when you talk geology to her.) There will
be preparations for a celebration of Lou’s life being made in the coming
months. Tentatively, for the date, she’s thinking about Lou's birthday,
September 14. Tentatively, for the marquee, she’s thinking,
“Lou-la-pool-Lou-za.” Her brother will help with the nitty gritty of the
project, but having someone here to generate and record ideas would be
delightful. Claire needs friends near her now, and if your present life
circumstances do allow it, think about making an extended journey into the
Arden of Arizona to be the Celia (or Celio) to her Rosalind. Contact me if
you’d like to discuss this further.
That’s enough for now. Just remember: Catastrophe is an idle idiot who sits
on a bench in the park until He jerks awake from his demented stupor and
bashes you over the head with a rock. So grab your loved ones now, hug
them, kiss them (appropriately), and tell them they are the greatest people
in the world.
This is me grabbing you now, virtually hugging you, cyber-kissing you
(appropriately), because you are the greatest people in the world,
David
[image: LouFinalPhoto.jpg]
On Wed, May 15, 2024 at 3:21 AM Anne Engelking Smith <ankleking(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
Loss upon loss.
Lou was a dear. I loved chatting with him about hot yoga.
Holding Claire.
Sent from my iPhone
On May 14, 2024, at 8:32 PM, 'TERRY GALLOWAY' via Shakespeare at Winedale
Email List <shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com> wrote:
David, thank you for being her rock. And ours.
Love
Terry
Sent from my iPhone
On May 14, 2024, at 8:07 PM, David Ziegler <dzieglersf(a)gmail.com> wrote:
Hi everyone:
More later. There’s still a lot to do here. But for those who wish it:
csc1964(a)icloud.com
Claire Szabo-Cassella
20750 N 87th St. # 1065
Scottsdale AZ 85255
United States
Claire thanks you for your love and support.
David
On May 14, 2024, at 4:28 PM, 'TERRY GALLOWAY' via Shakespeare at Winedale
Email List <shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com> wrote:
Can someone send me Claire’s personal email address? I can reach her
through Facebook messenger but that seems not ideal.
Love
Terry
Sent from my iPhone
On May 13, 2024, at 9:28 PM, David Sharpe <dpsharpeaustin(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
I just made a donation to Claire's website in honor of Lou Cassella.
Admittedly, it's not a sizable amount, but it's big for me on a fixed
income.
I have first hand knowledge of what it means to be a caregiver. For 15+
years I was an in-home caregiver for my parents. Fortunately, not for both
at the same time. After my father died of Alzeiheimers, a year later my
mother needed caregiving after suffering a stroke that triggered vascular
dementia. Let me just say: that type of long term caregiving is not for
sissies.
I close with a quote that I think is worth sharing, especially considering
the quick, 1-2-3 punches to the gut we've all recently endured, beginning
with the sudden loss of Bob Jones, the tornado destruction of the theater
for the Mickee Faust Club, and now the unexpected loss of Lou.
The quote from Tom Stoppard simply says: "Look at every exit as being an
entrance somewhere else."
Love,
David Sharpe
On Mon, May 13, 2024 at 2:58 PM Clayton Stromberger <
cstromberger(a)austin.utexas.edu> wrote:
I’ve been too stunned to find the words today –
but you have all said it
so beautifully. I had heard so much about Lou, the mysterious yoga teacher
who had swept Claire off her feet and blazed all sorts of new trails with
her in New Zealand, before meeting him at the 2015 reunion, and he was just
the sweetest and most grounded guy, so humble and generous and appreciative
of everything and everyone around him. It was radiantly clear that week,
as Tarissa and others have said, that the two of them shared something
truly special together – something deeper than just their far-flung
adventures as travelers and their business ventures as leaders in the yoga
field. Some kind of inner light, and toughness and courage too. Like
Bruce, I just can’t conceive of this news as reality. We love you Claire
-- and David you’re as great and true a friend as there ever was. Thanks
for breaking this to us, Madge, I know that wasn’t easy.
cs
*From: *'Alice Gordon' via Shakespeare at Winedale Email List <
shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com>
*Date: *Monday, May 13, 2024 at 2:14 PM
*To: *shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com <
shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com>
*Cc: *Madge Darlington <mmdarlington(a)gmail.com>om>, Shakespeare at Winedale
1970-2000 alums <winedale-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org>rg>, Willy Shakes <
winedale50th(a)gmail.com>
*Subject: *Re: [Winedale-l] Lou Cassella
Oh, Madge, this is exactly what Terry wrote. Horrible and terrible. Lou
was a lovely, calming, devoted human being and a perfect companion to
Claire. If you or anyone hears of any way to help Claire from afar, I know
we all would hope to be there for her.
Please tell David thank you for his wrenchingly loving report.
Love,
Alice
On May 13, 2024, at 12:33 PM, 'TERRY GALLOWAY' via Shakespeare at
Winedale Email List <shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list(a)googlegroups.com>
wrote:
This is shocking g , terrible news! Lou was the sweetest man alive.
Madge, please tell Claire we love her and grieve his death with her.
Love
Terry
Sent from my iPhone
On May 13, 2024, at 12:15 PM, Madge Darlington <mmdarlington(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
Hi friends,
Sad news this morning. Lou Cassella, Claire Szabo-Cassella's husband and
one of her main caregivers, died last night. David Ziegler is with Claire.
He told me he would give more detail on this list later, but I could let
people know.
Lou came to the 45th Reunion with Claire so she could participate. He was
a loving, gentle presence with us that week.
If you do not already follow Claire's Red Scooter Diaries
<https://redscooterdiaries.com/>, please have a look. You can read Lou's
contributions under Confessions of a Caregiver
<https://redscooterdiaries.com/2018/02/21/confessions-of-a-caregiver-vol-1-first-comes-love/>.
The website also offers ways to support Claire.
Claire, we are all sending you so much love. David, thank you for being
there for both Claire and Lou.
Much love to all,
Madge
--
*Madge Darlington, M.F.A.*
mmdarlington(a)utexas.edu
(512) 627-6038
*Assistant Professor of Instruction*
The University of Texas at Austin
Department of Theatre and Dance <https://theatredance.utexas.edu/>
*Interim Director*
Shakespeare at Winedale <https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/winedale/>
_______________________________________________
Winedale-l mailing list -- winedale-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org
To unsubscribe send an email to winedale-l-leave(a)lists.wikimedia.org
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/A219F5…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/A219F59C-67A4-4DA9-84AE-AF273B31E689%40aol.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/7A9C0D…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/7A9C0D4B-B386-471A-84FB-35A79DAD9B43%40icloud.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/SN6PR0…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/SN6PR06MB4429FE98C47F4E11A42361FF85E22%40SN6PR06MB4429.namprd06.prod.outlook.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/CACsW7…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/CACsW7ypUY6Q0hMTmANP_Oh663BM140H6HM9vnVvTmp1JNeQ%2BDQ%40mail.gmail.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/E7D99F…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/E7D99F5C-0CE2-42E3-8395-24BA7BE364DE%40aol.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.
_______________________________________________
Winedale-l mailing list -- winedale-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org
To unsubscribe send an email to winedale-l-leave(a)lists.wikimedia.org
--
Be vigitant, I beseech you!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
"Shakespeare at Winedale Email List" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an
email to shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list+unsubscribe(a)googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit
https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/66C3E8…
<https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/shakespeare-at-winedale-email-list/66C3E852-8DAC-408D-A9DD-6F88E84DE642%40aol.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer>
.