Hi there,
I think it would be best to create the result of queries in PHP. It would be best if the result files and the query files are wrote in the same language. The easiest way in PHP of creating such files would be in the style of php.in and parse them with parse_ini_file().
Slow queries as river wrote would be running nightly from an extra script and the result cached for 24 hours in toolserver database. For other query which should be created on demand but stored for the cache time (e.g. 1 hour) in the database. The smaller would be created on demand as river wrote.
You are looking for interface designers? As I am doing mostly the user interfaces at work and not much scriptwriting I could join the team.