[Wikipedia-l] The world according to Helga

[John Cate]

!> Taken to an extreme, Helga's arguments could be used to prove that
!> Iberia belongs to the Irish (choose a group of Celts) -- although
!> she'd probably stop at the Visigoths, since they're Germans.

Since Helga hasn't taken the time to fully explain all of this, I decided to
do it for her. Here's a complete list of all the nations that belong to the
Germans, and why:

Germany: for obvious reasons.
Austria: Ditto.
Italy: It once belonged to the Ostrogoths, who were victims of naked
aggression on the part of the Eastern Roman Empire under that brigand
Belisarius.
France: The Franks were Germans; Charlemagne's real name was Karl der
Grosse.
Poland: Half the country was unjustly taken from the Germans in 1945. The
other half was wrongfully taken from Prussia and Austria in 1806.
Czech Republic: The Sudetenland is rightfully German, and the rest of the
nation was built up under Austrian rule, or so Helga would tell you.
Slovakia: Wasn't Bratislava once known as "Pressburg"? Sounds pretty German
to me!
Switzerland: Largely speaks German today, historically belonged to the
Burgundians and Alamanni, who were Germans.
Tunisia, Algeria, Morocco and Libya: Belonged to the Vandals between 429 and
534. Lost through more naked aggression on the part of the Romans; many
Vandals cruelly expelled from their homes.
Spain: Modern Spainiards still claim descent from the Visigoths. Nation was
arguably founded by Pelayo the Visigoth in 718.
Netherlands, Belgium and Lux.: All part of the medieval Frankish Empire.
Romania: At one time, tens of thousands of Germans lived in Transylvania.
Was also ruled by the House of Hohenzollern for many years, and was ruled by
the Visigoths from 271 to 377.
Ukraine: L'viv was once known as Lemberg. Also belonged to the Ostrogoths
until 376.
Russia: Illegally possesses half of East Prussia and oppresses the Volga
Germans.
Lithuania: Illegally possesses the German city of Memel, wrongfully stolen
in 1919 and again in 1945.
Estonia: Capital of Talinn was once known as Reval and heavily populated by
Germans.
Latvia: City of Dvinsk's real name is Dunaburg.
Denmark: Illegally possesses northern Schleswig, wrongfully stolen from
Germans at Versailles in 1919.
Slovenia: Entire nation was part of Austria until 1918. Capital of
Ljubijana's real name is Laibach.
Portugal: Once belonged to the Suevi, Vandals and Visigoths.
England: Belonged to the Saxons until they fell victim to Norman French
aggression in 1066.