[WikiEN-l] Academic study: Wikipedia cancer information accurate but hard to read

[Ray Saintonge]

On 09/17/11 5:48 AM, Fred Bauder wrote:
>> On Sep 16, 2011 6:35 PM, "Fred Bauder"<fredbaud at fairpoint.net>  wrote:
>>> It is difficult to balance the needs of the general public, which reads
>>> more at a 5th grade level than a 9th grade level, with the need to
>>> present comprehensive information that would be of use to an
>>> oncologist.
>>>
>>> If we addressed this problem in a systemic way we would present
>>> alternate
>>> articles at differing levels of comprehensiveness and readability.
>>>
>>> Perhaps in the future.
>> If most people that have completed the ninth grade can't read at the
>> ninth
>> grade level, you need to recalibrate your scale... Either that, or give
>> up
>> on this nonsense that readability can be determined by word and sentence
>> length. It has far more to do with how engaging it is and how much prior
>> knowledge it assumes than how long the sentences are.
>>
>> If people want something that doesn't require much language skill, we do
>> have Simple English Wikipedia. I haven't visited it in a while, so I'm
>> not sure how good it is these days.
>>
> It doesn't have much detailed information on cancer.
>
> Simple English serves those learning English who have a limited
> vocabulary, not the general English speaking public, who are literate but
> not skilled readers. Reaching that population, the masses, if you will,
> requires specialized writing and editorial skills. Governmental and
> medical organizations use those skills while crafting public information
> documents. We could also learn and apply those skills in an appropriate
> format.
>
I look at Simple more broadly to include adult native English  speakers 
with generally poor reading skills for whatever reason.  Depending on 
how you define "literate" your comment could be self-contradictory.

I just looked at the first sentence of [[en:Cancer]] which reads:
> *Cancer* /ˈkænsər/ 
> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:IPA_for_English>(<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:En-us-cancer.ogg> 
> listen 
> <http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7b/En-us-cancer.ogg>) 
> (medical term: malignant <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malignancy> 
> neoplasm <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoplasm>) is a large, 
> heterogeneous class of diseases <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disease> 
> in which a group of cells 
> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell_%28biology%29> display uncontrolled 
> growth, invasion that intrudes upon and destroys adjacent tissues, and 
> often metastasizes <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metastasis>, wherein 
> the tumor cells spread to other locations in the body via the 
> lymphatic system <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lymph> or through the 
> bloodstream <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood>.

and the first few sentences of [[simple:Cancer]] which read:
> *Cancer* is a class of diseases 
> <http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disease> or disorders. It is when 
> the body has no control over cells that begin to split. In cancer 
> <http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_%28disambiguation%29>, body 
> cells copy their contents. They then make new cells with these copies. 
> These cells are able to go into other tissues 
> <http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_tissue>. They go into 
> other tissues by growing into them. They can also go into other 
> tissues by putting themselves into far away places by metastasis 
> <http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metastasis>.

I don't find either satisfactory. Both have grammatical problems.  I had 
to pause to determine how "invasion" related to the beginning, and after 
figuring that out came to the conclusion that "metastasizes" should 
really have been a noun.

In the Simple version "is when..." is an incorrect introduction of an 
adverb clause. Addressing an audience with limited language skills is no 
excuse for our own bad grammar.  I don't know what is intended by "body 
cells copy their contents." A few individual words need further 
explanation, or, at least, links.

Both of these need serious help.

Ray