[WikiEN-l] Twitterpedia will win

[wjhonson at aol.com]

-----Original Message-----
From: FT2 <ft2.wiki at gmail.com>
To: English Wikipedia <wikien-l at lists.wikimedia.org>
Sent: Tue, 5 May 2009 12:35 am
Subject: Re: [WikiEN-l] Twitterpedia will win

Redundant text - "the X war was a war" duh :) Try this:

"The Peloponnesian War (Ancient Greece, 431-404BC), took place between
Athens and its empire, against the Eponymous League led by Sparta. Rock 
on!">>

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Why do you have to state "Ancient Greece" ?  And remove "The"
Also "was" is much shorter than "took place"

"Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athens and its empire, against the 
Spartan-led Eponymous League."

Much shorter!

What do I win!