[WikiEN-l] What to do about our writing quality?

[Charles Matthews]

SlimVirgin wrote:
> On 5/23/08, Charles Matthews <charles.r.matthews at ntlworld.com> wrote:
>   
>>  I'm a bit alarmed about the references in this thread to newspaper
>>  journalism techniques. Do recall, everyone, that such articles are
>>  recycled, in most cases in 24 hours.
>>     
>
> I'm not sure I see the difference. For example, the earlier point
> about cutlines/captions applies to any publication that uses them. Of
> the points raised today, which ones do you feel apply only to
> newspapers?
>   
Let's look at a concrete example: [[Alexander Cordell]]. Do we really 
need the journalists' technique here: "Son of the Empire"; "In Love with 
Wales"; "Evocative Writing"? That's like a certain style of newspaper 
writing. But not right for WP tone, I believe.

>>  We should concentrate, mainly, on having articles well organised, so
>>  that people can find the information they want. Once that's done,
>>  improving readability is an essentially trivial copy-editing function.
>>     
>
> Copy editing isn't that easy, Charles. I know we have a few editors
> who make it look easy, but that's because they're very good at it. For
> most of us, it can be a struggle.
>
>   
OK, go back to the quote at the start of the thread:

"Ahab seeks one specific whale, Moby-Dick, a great white whale of 
tremendous size and ferocity. Comparatively few whaling ships know of 
Moby-Dick, and fewer yet have knowingly encountered the whale. In a 
previous encounter, the whale destroyed Ahab’s boat and bit off Ahab’s 
leg. Ahab intends to exact revenge on the whale."

How hard is it to do this?

"Ahab seeks one particular whale, Moby-Dick: a great white whale, of 
tremendous size and ferocity. Few whalers know of Moby-Dick, and fewer 
yet have knowingly encountered it. In a previous meeting, the whale 
destroyed Ahab’s boat and bit off his leg. Ahab intends to exact revenge."

That removes some redundancy, punctuates, watches the choice of words. 
And the end result is _not bad_. As a one para explanation of the book's 
main plot, it is really OK. Do we have to have the stuff about a 
traumatised psyche trying to restage the confrontation with the Other? 
Well, we could, given a reliable source. But anyway, this kind of copy 
editing can be regarded as routine.

Charles