I assume your good faith, and I foresee its consequences. You couldn't
employ your NVC skills because you were, quote, in a hurry, end quote. That
means, NVC just doesn't work when it's needed. I don't think everyone here
has a lot of spare time to mix original thoughts with a dump of meaningless
requests and pardons. You want to share how you feel? I don't think it's
the right place to do this. Don't ask to ask, just ask, and so on.
I think this and other responses to non-violent communication make a lot of
sense. They're in line with the old quote "First they ignore you, then
they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." But this process
takes years and we seem to be at the laugh and fight stage.
I think violence is a particularly efficient way of getting what you want.
"Assume good faith" is just a way to apologize in advance for employing
violence. And honestly, I come from a culture where violence is a totally
acceptable form of communication, and I'm a violent communicator. I creep
myself out when I try to not be violent, but I recognize that much harmony
would result from adopting the principles of NVC. Anyway I don't have any
opinion on either side of this discussion, just wanted to point out that
the responses are to be expected. And to say to Derric thank you, your
post was not in vain and it did not turn me off to the subject. On the
contrary, it made me admire that more people are willing to try it.
On Tue, Feb 18, 2014 at 5:38 PM, Derric Atzrott <
datzrott(a)alizeepathology.com> wrote:
Question
for Derric: why didn't you formulate your suggestion using
NVC?
I was excited and in a hurry. In retrospect I really think that I should
have.
After reading some of the replies I felt rather disappointed and
frustrated, and even a little sad as I didn't feel my need for
understanding was met.
In the future I will try to take a little more time writing emails to the
list. I'm sorry to anyone who felt offended by it or felt that my email
was, well, violent. That was not my intention at all. I just began
myself
looking into and trying to practice NVC in the
past six months or so,
and I
am, as of now, still not terribly great at it.
Again, I want to express my apologies, and I really hope that I didn't
turn anyone off to the subject. I guess all I was really trying to say
in
that email is that when conversation on this list
gets heated, I feel
frustrated because my needs for calm and community are not met. I end up
not wanting to participate because I don’t think that I will be heard or
understood. I would like to request that people onlist look into
strategies to help everyone get along, whether that is AGF, or NVC, or
something else, does not matter as much to me. I suggested NVC because
it
has been a very useful tool for me in the past.
Thank you,
Derric Atzrott
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З павагай,
Павел Селіцкас/Pavel Selitskas
Wizardist @ Wikimedia projects
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