[teampractices] Empathy vs compassion, when helping others

Fri Feb 24 18:53:13 UTC 2017

That picture kinda nails it

On Fri, Feb 24, 2017 at 10:47 AM, Natalia Harateh <nharateh at wikimedia.org>
wrote:

> Mukunda, I think you’ve added the discussion more than you think you
> did. 🕊️
>
> Max, I’d say that the article you linked is in line with what Brené says
> about empathy -
>
> *When someone’s in a deep hole and they shout from the bottom and say,
> “I’m stuck, it’s dark, I’m overwhelmed”. And we look and we say, “Hey!” and
> climb down, “I know what it’s like down here, and you’re not alone”. (…)
> Empathy is a choice and it’s a vulnerable choice. Because in order to
> connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows
> that feeling.*
>
> I can see how connecting with something in yourself that knows that
> feeling, can, as Klimecki puts it, result in an increase in negative
> emotions and carry the danger of an emotional burnout.
> I think the two sources differ in who they’re targeting - Klimecki is
> concerned with the giver of empathy and how it affects them, while Brené
> talks about the recipient of empathy and what hearing “Me too” vs. “At
> least you…” does to them.
>
> As for empathy vs. sympathy, I’m gonna throw in an infographic that I
> found in this Psychology Today article on Empathy Vs Sympathy
> <https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201505/empathy-vs-sympathy>
>  -
>
>
> <https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201505/empathy-vs-sympathy>
>
> I think it’s in line with the definition of compassion from the article
> linked by Sarah (thank you Sarah):
>
> *Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among
> emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you
> are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve
> that suffering.*
>
> Sarah, I’d love to see those materials, if you ever have time to scan and
> share them!
>
>
> <https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201505/empathy-vs-sympathy>
>
> On 24 Feb 2017, at 19:02, Mukunda Modell <mmodell at wikimedia.org> wrote:
>
> Just in case it wasn't clear:  that was my bad attempt at humor, nothing
> more.
>
> ☮
>
> On Thu, Feb 23, 2017 at 8:03 PM, Mukunda Modell <mmodell at wikimedia.org>
> wrote:
>
>> I hear that breathing can be dangerous. Showers also.
>>
>> I apologize for adding precisely nothing useful to this otherwise
>> interesting and thought provoking thread.
>>
>> On Thu, Feb 23, 2017 at 5:42 PM, Kevin Smith <ksmith at wikimedia.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Thanks both for sharing those links. It quickly became clear to me that
>>> my definitions of empathy, sympathy, and compassion, are fuzzy. Quick skims
>>> of the relevant wikipedia article intros didn't really help.
>>>
>>> I have heard that sympathy is "bad", so I'll just empathize instead.
>>> Oops, empathy is now dangerous? No problem, I'll just have compassion. Did
>>> I actually change anything other than the word?
>>>
>>> I just proposed a Tea Time topic for this.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Kevin Smith
>>> Agile Coach, Wikimedia Foundation
>>>
>>>
>>> On Thu, Feb 23, 2017 at 3:09 PM, Natalia Harateh <nharateh at wikimedia.org
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>> Thanks for sharing, Max! I’ll definitely read the article. If I can add
>>>> to the discussion, here’s a short 2:53 min video explaining empathy in
>>>> a way that resonated with me <https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw>.
>>>>
>>>> TL;DR:
>>>>
>>>> *What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this
>>>> beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only
>>>> create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get
>>>> in touch with our own fragilities.*
>>>>
>>>> On 23 Feb 2017, at 23:53, Max Binder <mbinder at wikimedia.org> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I ran across an article claiming that empathizing with others on their
>>>> issues can be a slippery slope to bias, or at the very least unnecessary
>>>> absorption of another person's issues and feelings. The article was
>>>> political in nature, so I won't post it, but it did make some claims that I
>>>> thought to research.
>>>>
>>>> That let me to this article on compassion as an alternative to empathy:
>>>> http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/when_empathy_hu
>>>> rts_compassion_can_heal
>>>>
>>>> I can't attest for the reputation of the site linked, but it makes some
>>>> interesting arguments. I thought those arguments might be relevant since we
>>>> often operate in an environment with, and espouse values using, words like
>>>> "empathy."
>>>>
>>>> TL;DR:
>>>>
>>>> we can better cope with others’ negative emotions by strengthening our
>>>>> own compassion skills, which the researchers define as “feeling concern for
>>>>> another’s suffering and desiring to enhance that individual’s welfare.”
>>>>> “Empathy is really important for understanding others’ emotions very
>>>>> deeply, but there is a downside of empathy when it comes to the suffering
>>>>> of others,” says Olga Klimecki, a researcher at the Max Planck Institute
>>>>> for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Germany and the lead author of
>>>>> the study. “When we share the suffering of others too much, our negative
>>>>> emotions increase. It carries the danger of an emotional burnout.”
>>>>>
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>>
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