I've been following this discussion with interest, but have hesitated
chiming in because I've never attended an NYC meetup and being in the
Pacific Northwest, probably never will be. However, I've had some
experience with this kind of thing, so I figured what the heck.
I've been involved in many groups in which this kind of thing
(inappropriate behavior by males) has happened--churches, 12-Step groups,
self-improvement organizations. These groups are usually voluntary
organizations that tend to attract people (men and women) who have issues
with social interaction and communication skills. As a result, many have
never learned how to behave appropriately in public settings. I feel that
Wikimedia also tends to attract these kinds of people--you know, the
stereotypical geeky computer guys, who often lack in social skills.
For example, I was in a group recently in which a man drove away potential
new members because he hit on every new woman who walked in the door. His
behavior made it impossible for it to be a safe place for the growth and
development of all its members. One time, he complimented me on my
appearance during a meeting in front of everyone, which was inappropriate
in that setting. I'm not shy about confronting people if necessary, so I
called him on it immediately and publicly. I also felt confident that
other members present would back me standing up for myself. Other
boundaries were established and enforced with him, and eventually, he left
the group.
There was a time in the history of this group when it was unhealthy enough
to allow that kind of behavior, and the membership shrunk as a result. I
strongly believe that healthy groups attract healthy people. Conversely,
unhealthy people avoid healthy groups. It's also often the case that it
takes just one or two toxic people to make groups toxic, and sometimes the
only way to make a healthy group is to rout them out. Yes, you want to be
inclusive, but that doesn't mean you should allow inappropriate behavior,
because that ultimately kills a group. I've seen it happen too many times.
My recommendation, based on my experience, is to confront the offenders and
if necessary, give them the choice of behaving appropriately or leaving.
Set and enforce boundaries; if they refuse, kick them out of the group.
This is necessary if you want your meetings to be safe places for
everyone, men and women.
Christine
User:Figureskatingfan
On Thu, Jun 27, 2013 at 10:36 AM, Pharos <pharosofalexandria(a)gmail.com>wrote;wrote:
To clarify, there was one rather obnoxious commenter
at the beginning that
day (the "typo for herstory" guy), and who we had eventually to shut up
(and who was indeed also somewhat disruptive to a couple of other
presentations later in the day).
However, to my impression I did not experience anything like a general
negative reaction by the audience; indeed many women and men I talked later
to found it to be the highlight of the conference.
(And in particular, I don't think I can understand Mr Brenner's rather
strange interpretation of the applause for a well crafted Prezi-type
presention.)
This is a very legitimate concern in general, however, and I certainly do
agree the NYC chapter should look into adopting the best policies for an
open and friendly environment (and borrowing what has worked for other
movement partners), and this will be on our agenda for both the
newly-elected board and members.
Thanks,
Richard
(User:Pharos)
On Wed, Jun 26, 2013 at 11:00 AM, Sydney <sydney.poore(a)gmail.com> wrote:
In general chapters and other organizations who
are affiliating with WMF
and receiving funding should have policies and programs that support
diversity of the WikiMedia Foundation projects.
I could see a pattern of harassment at a chapter's events adversely
effecting funding.
I ask chapters and other organizations in the WikiMedia Foundation family
who are struggling to get a situation involving harassment under control to
reach out to people who can help.
I'm interested in hearing an update on the progress the NYC Chapter is
making.
Sydney
Sent from my iPhone
On Jun 26, 2013, at 10:34 AM, Nathan <nawrich(a)gmail.com> wrote:
Why not push the AffCom to make safe events, with
appropriate policies
and enforcement, a condition of affiliation? That way, even
recalcitrant organizations would have a strong incentive to take
appropriate steps to establish event environments free of harassment,
heckling, etc.
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____________________
Christine W. Meyer
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208/310-1549