[Foundation-l] The state of Foundation-l (again) was: Recent firing?

[Thomas Dalton]

2009/11/7 William Pietri <william at scissor.com>:
> Thomas Dalton wrote:
>> Yes, I am placing the burden on other people and I've explained why:
>> The burden is negligible for other people. It is significant for me.
>>
>
> Well, you perceive the burden as negligible for them. Have you asked
> them? My impression was that you imagined it would be easy for them
> because it would be easy for you. Personally, I'd imagine otherwise,
> based partly on how easy it would be for me, and partly on a lot of time
> spent observing people using software.

Ignoring emails *is* easy. Anyone that says otherwise is wrong. I do
not subscribe to this "everyone's opinion is equally valid" nonsense -
sometimes people are just plain wrong.

> A similar effect might apply the other way. Perhaps they see the
> behavior they want as easy for you because it's easy for them? If so,
> you could consider asking people to help you.

Of course not sending emails is easy. There is more to something being
burdensome than it being difficult. Not sending an email is
sacrificing your freedom of expression for someone else - that is a
definite burden. It is burden that is it sometimes appropriate to take
on, but this isn't such a time.

> Part of the problem may be that people often don't like other people
> imposing burdens on them. It's often read as an attempt of social
> dominance, or as rude or contemptuous. So your unilateral placing of
> burden may be interfering with your desire to move the conversation forward.

People telling me not to send the emails I want to is them
unilaterally imposing a burden on me. How is that different?

>> If someone would explain their criteria, this conversation could move
>> forwards rather than round in circles...
>>
>
> If you wanted to know, you could start by asking them.

When I make a point during an argument I am always implicitly asking
people that disagree to make a counter-point. That is how arguments
work.