[WikiEN-l] Harassment sites

[Charlotte Webb]

On 10/17/07, George Herbert <george.herbert at gmail.com> wrote:
> That sort of language puts people on the defensive (or offensive).

It may also cause hot (or cold) flashes. Your mileage will vary. :)

> If the objective was to convince Will that he made a mistake, putting
> him on the defensive by offending at him doesn't accomplish the goal.

You are making the unwarranted assumption that he was not already on
the defensive.  Careful not to give David too much credit.

> Defensive people hunker down (or, go offensive back), as a general
> rule.
>
> It's counterproductive in discussions to use language like that,
> because it solidifies disagreeing opinions rather than opens people up
> to introspective self-criticism and behavior changes.

If anybody (on this mailing list or elsewhere) changes their behavior,
it will be because they wanted to, not because others demanded it.
It's not the sort of thing that commonly happens overnight either.
Usually gradually enough to avoid notice, and hardly ever as a result
of any one incident.

—C.W.