[WikiEN-l] The Second Rape: Victim-Blaming (was Re: Self-sensorship, how far should it go?)

[Armed Blowfish]

On 05/08/07, Marc Riddell <michaeldavid86 at comcast.net> wrote:
>
> >>>>> on 8/2/07 7:19 PM, Armed Blowfish at diodontida.armata at googlemail.com
> >>>> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> Stalking to the point of revealing someone's personal information to
> >>>>> the world, making them vulnerable to further stalking goes beyond mere
> >>>>> trolling.  But that's semantics.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> In any case, you are right - it is not your fault.  The wrongs
> >>>>> stalkers do are on their heads.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> No, you can't stop every stalker / abuser / harasser in the world.
> >>>>> Nonetheless, some environments are more friendly to stalkers than
> >>>>> others.  There are things that can be done to influence the
> >>>>> statistics.  Can you be blamed for not helping when you don't know how
> >>>>> to help?  No.  But that doesn't mean there aren't things you can do to
> >>>>> help... e.g. supporting people who have been hurt and helping to
> >>>>> create an environment that is not friendly to
> >>>>> stalkers/abusers/harassers.
> >>
> >> On 02/08/07, Marc Riddell <michaeldavid86 at comcast.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>>> And stalkers, abusers, and harassers don't survive very long in an
> >>>> environment where the noise they are making doesn't get the reaction
> they
> >>>> need to thrive.
> >>
> >> on 8/2/07 10:23 PM, Armed Blowfish at diodontida.armata at googlemail.com
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> 'the reaction they need to thrive' And therein most likely lies our
> >>> disagreement... What is 'the reaction they need to thrive'?  Not any
> >>> reaction. They want to do something... maybe cause pain, maybe get
> >>> something for themselves... and they want to get away with it.
> >>>
> >>> And how can they do that?  Well, as for causing pain, that's simple.
> >>> There are a million different ways to suffer, and they only have to
> >>> find one way to cause the victim to suffer.  If there is something
> >>> more specific they want, it might be more difficult.
> >>>
> >>> But getting away with it... how do they do that?   Try isolating the
> >>> victim from his or her social support.  (This will also cause the
> >>> victim to suffer.)  Just like a lion luring a goat away from the
> >>> herd... for even a lion may be trampled by a herd, but can easily
> >>> overpower a single goat.  How?  Any way they can.  And how can we stop
> >>> it?  Try to see it for what it is, and stand by the victim.
>
> On 03/08/07, Marc Riddell <michaeldavid86 at comcast.net> wrote:
>
> >> First, AB, I've never communicated with a blowfish before (at least not
> that
> >> I would admit publicly ;-) - and, certainly, not one that was armed!. :-)
>
> >> I have read both of our posts here several times, and am having a hard
> time
> >> seeing where we disagree.
> >>
> >> The only reaction the people we are talking about do not thrive on is
> >> silence. Beyond that, the type of reaction they need to thrive can be
> >> different with each individual.
>
> on 8/4/07 7:49 PM, Armed Blowfish at diodontida.armata at googlemail.com wrote:
>
> > I disagree... silence can allow very dangerous people to go about
> > hurting people without interference.  If someone is in danger, we can
> > help protect that person by making sure that they are not alone.
>
> Excellent point, AB. I was thinking in terms of 1-1 dialogue. But, you are
> right, in the larger scale of a public forum, the hatemongers must be met
> head on, and with a group voice that is loud and clear. Victims do feel very
> much alone; we, by our voice and our embrace, can assure them they are not.

I'm glad we agree.  : )

One thing though... it doesn't really matter so much if they are
'hatemongers' or if something else is going through their head.
(Well, it matters some, but no matter what is going through their
head, they are still hurting people.)  The point is we need to protect
the people who are getting seriously hurt, by protecting them the best
we know how.

> > A quote from the Night Stalker episode 'The Sea', just because I think
> > it's worded well:
> > 'Life travels a crooked path, a course whose shape we cannot recognise
> > except by looking back on it. How happiness leads to heartbreak, how a
> > dark turn leads to peace and joy. Our purpose, like our destination,
> > is hidden, but goodness is a refuge ­ a soft, warm light into which
> > evil cannot see.'
> >
> Thank you for this.
>
> Marc

I've found Kolchak: The Night Stalker to be a very therapeutic series.  : )


Anyway, I am glad we've come to agreement on this.

Armed Blowfish