[Gendergap] I'm fed up - was Re: article differentials/unnecessary drama

[Sarah Stierch]

>
> And one think is discuss something - even when people have different 
> opinion than yours, another completely different is play the "/poor 
> me, nothing I do is good/" every time someone has a criticism against 
> your work.

I know I'm going to regret this, but, I can't be quiet anymore.

I apologize to this ENTIRE mailing list for this drama erupting, and I'm 
going to be sending gender gap-l into my "special file" until my heart 
rate goes down. If people want to talk to me, they can find me on IRC or 
in private email, today.

---

Beria, you're passive aggressive bullying behavior has reached my level 
of tolerance. I was going to email you privately, but, I decided against 
that, as /you/ like to publicly share your feelings with the community, 
including specific people publicly.

I have previously stated it, the last thing I wish to do is flood the 
list with things that are of no benefit or interest to the community. If 
me feeling bad about doing that is a bad then, so be it, I'm just sick 
and tired of you repeatedly reminding me of how I'm doing something 
wrong, and your declaration of "no one giving a fuck" about what you 
have to say because you aren't a fellow or you aren't a staff member is 
equally passive aggressive. I /worked/ my butt off for this fellowship, 
and a fellowship with WMF is something I have been exploring and trying 
to develop for almost two years now. I'm honored to have it, beyond 
words. Anyone can apply to be a fellow Beria, and passively declaring 
that no one cares about you because you aren't paid, is just a mean slap 
in the face of everyone who works hard at WMF and as volunteers. And 
remember, there are chapter people who get paid to do their jobs, also.

And this isn't just about me - you've done it to a lot of people. People 
I consider friends and colleagues, and people I don't even know well.

I'm tired of having to worry about the things I post on this list, 
Internal-L, and Foundation-L, being to your disapproval. I'm also tired 
of the "monthly wait for what Beria will say to someone that will cause 
drama on a mailing list" situation. While I'm sure others greatly 
appreciate your attitude, I don't, and others do not as well. Your 
behavior and bullying (which is defined here: 
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bullying) makes me have little to desire 
to participate in mailing list discussions, and even /less/ desire to 
even consider attending a conference that you are co-planning. Which is 
something, civility, we touch on here on this mailing list, as being a 
deterrent for people wanting to participate in projects.

This isn't the first time that I've actively, /and/ publicly asked you 
to stop behaving like this.

The goal of this list isn't to just "talk" about wanting to make 
changes, it's about making changes. Whether they are online, in any 
language project, or offline, through outreach, programming, 
edit-a-thons, and whatnot. I talk my talk and I walk my walk, and I know 
others here do too (and I try to share those projects when they are 
brought to my attention). And if me being "too sensitive" or me "caring 
too much" or "me being paid" is a deterrent to us moving the meter (aka 
closing the gap) then I guess I'm the worst representative for the 
gender gap movement.

Beria - I'm not going to argue with you about this, I'm not going to ask 
you to ever like me, be my bestfriend, or make an exception. I just want 
you to stop bullying me, others, and learn how your words affects others 
before you type them. I can handle criticism, when it's constructive. 
Not when it's rude, insensitive, unprofessional and at times attacking.

_and on another note, regarding language:
_
I only share what I know, and sadly, I have a permanent off switch in my 
head that makes it tough for me to learn other languages (and no, Google 
Translate does not count as quality accessibility), so when I can only 
talk for English Wikipedia, I only post about English Wikipedia. We've 
never called this list an English only list, I encourage people to 
participate in all languages, so please, please please do.

I apologize to everyone for making this a big freaking mess, but, I'm 
tired of this. Absolutely tired of it. Tired to the point where I have 
had trouble sleeping - I mean what the hell is that about?

Sarah


-- 
*Sarah Stierch*
*/Wikimedia Foundation Community Fellow/*
 >>Support the sharing of free knowledge around the world: donate today 
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