[Foundation-l] Concern for the safety of Wikimanians in Alexandria

[Ray Saintonge]

Andrew Whitworth wrote:
> On Thu, Mar 6, 2008 at 7:59 AM, Oldak Quill <oldakquill at gmail.com> wrote:
>   
>>  My concern isn't that homosexual Wikimedians will be in danger if they
>>  don't tell anyone, it is that homosexual Wikimedians must actively
>>  hide their sexuality.
>>     
> I agree that this isn't entirely ideal, but when it comes to hiding
> things the LGBT community won't be the only ones affected in
> Alexandria, and you only need to hide this fact from the Egyptian
> authorities, not from your fellow conference goers. I don't suspect
> that atheists are going to want to make that viewpoint very public in
> Alexandria either. Politics, which often do cross cross over into the
> territories of morality and religion, should probably also be kept
> under wraps too.
>   
Speaking as one who would feel safe going there, I still have no 
intention of preaching my atheism when I'm there.
>>  Does the "don't ask, don't tell" policy extend to not mentioning that
>>  you have a partner to others? If a Wikimedian attends with a same-sex
>>  partner, should they not tell people they are partners? Should they
>>  not tell people they are staying in the same room?
>>     
> For a long time, I referred to my now-fiance as my "friend". Saying
> "I'm spending the night with my girlfriend" turned into the nonchalant
> "I'm staying out tonight with friends". There are many reasons why I
> wanted to obscure the truth then, and it was easy enough to do. You
> can easily refer to your life-partner as your "friend" or as your
> "companion" with enough ambiguity that you don't need to lie and you
> don't need to go into any more detail. Again, is this ideal? no. But,
> when you are in a foreign place you need to expect to make at least
> some concessions.
>   
In some common law countries you can still be considered married even if 
there was never a formal ceremony.  Of course, no couple normally 
carries a marriage certificate around when travelling   If your home 
country recognizes common law marriages you are married there, no matter 
what the laws say in the country that you are visiting.  If a country 
that you are visiting frowns upon adultery, one does best to avoid 
ambiguous nuanced answers.  Just tell them you are married.
>>  The concern is that while heterosexual Wikimedians may attend with
>>  their other-sex partner and let others know that they are partners,
>>  homosexual Wikimedians wouldn't have the same freedom under a "don't
>>  ask, don't tell" policy.
>>     
> As a sign of mutual respect and compassion, maybe all wikimedians
> should voluntarily give up  public displays of affection with their
> significant others while in Alexandria. Even a small show of community
> solidarity can go a long way to turn a lousy situation into a good
> one.
Showing restraint is a great way to show community solidarity.  After a 
couple days you can get an idea of what is locally acceptable.

Ec