Some goodbye to all - Wikimedia-l

20 Jun 2019

 Dear community,

First I need to mention that the message I sent a few days ago had too
limited information regarding the context of the message. The e-mail was
written by me personally alone, written from my perspective. The email
contained an overview what has happened, written based on e-mails and
eyewitnesses. So if anyone would say it is not true, please add {{Citation
needed}} to that person's saying.

About a month ago I have decided that I will indefinitely no longer attend
any WMF funded events as result of bullying, attempts to silence me,
intimidation and treats against me. This has resulted in that I feel
extremely unsafe as the result of the behaviour of only a few individuals.

This has lead that since the start of this occurring about 18 months ago I
have been over a dozen of times very ill, while I was in the 10 years
before only twice that ill.

I see no indication that the issues addressed are taken seriously, so I see
no safe space for me to be present. In my childhood I was bullied for being
different, I am not interested in a second episode now.

...
 From my parents I have learned to lend others always a
helping hand where I can. As such I was happy to be able to help the organisers of
various
conferences and I always tried to make it a comfortable place for everyone.

To my regret I have been informed that some people have indicated that I
have given them an unpleasant feeling. You must know that I never ever had
such intention (also still largely unsure what of me has given you this
emotion) and I am feeling bad that I gave you such feeling. My apologies!

Some people have indicated with last year's conference that they had an
impression of me while I never ever had intended as such. In the past
period I have been thinking about it what would make some people think that
I gave that impression. This includes that some people think that I was
flirting or something with other people, while I actually had no interest
in the other.

I suspect it might have something to do that I almost never really
introduced myself as I always thought that widely diverse people in our
movement would respect me in my diversity.

Perhaps it is good to create some clarity. Traditionally looking, I
understand people expect me as "man" to fall on women, but I do not fall on
the women present at the conferences, as well as that I have a different
gender identification. In other words: LGBT+   Also I am autistic, having
aspergers, having sensory overloads, being claustrophobic, having a hearing
problem, avoiding touching, having an eidetic memory (photographic memory),
etc, being divergent in comparison to many others, I am feeling a bit
socially clumsy.

The first 8 years in the wiki world I was not feeling safe to meet anyone.
In 2011 I visited the first wiki event when Wikipedia celebrated its 10th
birthday. I felt more and more safe and joined more events. You might have
seen me with my large enthusiasm as I feel by providing knowledge to the
world, we make the world a better place for anyone. Now 8 years later I am
leaving as I am not feeling safe again.

But please, do not get me wrong. I live in a country that would probably
win the world championships in complaining. I believe everyone has the
right to complain, as that I see as part of the basic rights of freedom of
expression and thought. It matters however what happens next with
complaints. Every complaint should be judged by independent individuals,
with impartiality, without also any *appearance* of partiality, with taking
into account *all* information, with care and respect to all individuals
involved. (etc) Also anyone has the right to defend themselves against
allegations *before* conclusions are drawn and before decisions are made.
Among other things, three times a conclusion was drawn without talking with
me, with as excuse "we know how he thinks", sorry, but that is a heavy
insult to me.

Behind the scenes I have been trying to address the issues with dialogues,
as well as various other people, who have indicated their concerns, offered
help, offered (actual) solutions, tried to intermediate, etc etc, zero
results, zero self reflection.

There is a limit of what a human being can bear, my limit is here.

In the world, people have been discriminated for their religion, political
beliefs, the colour of their skin, because of their gender, because of a
different gender identity, how they look like, ..., or just because they
are considered to be "weird" when people do not understand the other. I
would prefer that we do not copy that and instead organise a civilised
complaint handling that works independently.

Many of you gave me a welcome feeling, independent from who/how I am. Thank
you!

As I likely will not meet you again, the one thing that rests me to say is:
thank you for collaborating, talking and sharing your thoughts, I wish you
all the best!

Romaine