Dear James,
As I made clear in our conversation yesterday, this happened to me, but has can and could have happened to almost everyone of the other participants at this conference.
Yes, we need to respect the privacy of the people who reported they were uncomfortable, and it is a very very very sad thing they have been uncomfortable.
But this whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I am trying to be always as friendly as possible, to help anyone the best as possible, it is sad for me to feel that we do not know any longer if you help someone if you are then still safe or getting reported about you.
In the past 24 hours I have been touched (hands, hugs, hand on shoulder, etc) over 50 times by various people, many I know, some I don't. Only once I was asked if I was fine with it. In many regions in the world it is normal to shake hands, hug someone, etc etc. We do need to be aware of that in some cultures this is not common, as well as individuals do not find it comfortable. We also need to be aware that we as humans cannot switch off the way we are. We need to create a friendly space for everyone.
To my feeling the focus is too much on not giving some people a bad feeling, but we also must respect the nature of people, how people normally are, because if we don't, we create an unfriendly space for them.
Now too many people are scared to touch someone else, scared to make a mistake. That is bad. It is good to have awareness of cultural differences, it is good if everyone tries to respect each others personal space.
It is not right that if someone tries to be nice, this gives a bad feeling to the other.
If then someone gets punished ("action is taken"), we are putting the health of our community at risk.
You said to me in our conversation yesterday that you do not recommend me to send the earlier mail I did send. I can understand why you ask this, but for my feeling I had no other choice. Every day many many people greet me and ask me how I am feeling. If I am feeling bad, I say so. I am too emotional to explain it to every one of them.
A second reason I raised attention for what happened to me, is because the whole goal of the friendly space policy is to create a friendly space, while now it is actually an unfriendly space for many just because of the action you took.
In my case,
you say it is not punishment, but it has bad consequences that are only a
placebo and do not help to solve the situation and certainly does not
improve the situation. That is a very bad thing.
The friendly space policy is intended to create a friendly space for
everyone, now however many perceive an unfriendly space, that is a
serious problem. We need to get a better and balanced situation in how is dealt with these situations.
At this conference it might be a bit early to discuss the topic in general, but still I think it we need to be aware that this problem exist.
I also think we need to have a dialogue in our movement about this kind of situations where people perceive harassment while the other has the best intentions.
Romaine