Steve Summit wrote:
George Herbert wrote:
While I agree that the mishandling of stalking / abuse situations has largely gotten us where we are today, I would have hoped to see people make that point in a civil and respectful manner rather than crossing the line into blaming the vicitms as you did above, Phil.
This was not constructive, even if it was wrapped around an important point.
Actually, I think it *was* constructive. It's a point I've wanted to make (perhaps not so harshly) for a long time, but I've been too chicken to make it at all.
Thanks, I've been thinking it too.
Empathy is a wonderful thing, one of the finest traits a person can possess. But it sometimes has its downside and this is IMO one of them; the elevation of victims and victimhood to a kind of sacred status. People who have suffered abuses of various sorts deserve sympathy, but as with all things it's possible to go overboard.
I don't know Slim Virgin well enough to know whether she's a reasonable person or a drama queen, so I GFly assume that she's a reasonable person. So I'm not talking about Slim Virgin here. But.
There have been other recent cases with much more clear-cut drama, the TOR issue with Armed Blowfish for example. Armed Blowfish eventually wound up on moderation so I think it's safe to say that it went well beyond reasonableness.
So far I haven't said so, because I've been too paranoid about being labeled a victim-blamer or a rape apologist.
I actually _have_ been called a rape apologist in a previous thread on this subject, or at least I was analogized to one, and then was accused of attacking people when I complained about it. So I guess I'm a victim too, yay.
(IIRC I did get an apology for at least some of that and I considered it sufficient.