Nice! Comments in line.

James Alexander
Community Advocacy
Wikimedia Foundation
(415) 839-6885 x6716 @jamesofur

On Wed, Aug 5, 2015 at 5:56 PM, Joe Sutherland <jsutherland@wikimedia.org> wrote:
Hey all,

We just published "News on Wikipedia: Beijing wins Winter Olympics, MH370 wreckage recovered, and more" to the Wikimedia blog. URL: 


We plan to send out five pieces of social for this story, spread through the next three days (or thereabouts) to keep things timely.

Please do comment for tone.

Twitter:

• China's capital Beijing will host the 2022 Winter Olympics. #NewsOnWikipedia
LGTM

[Sidenote - this is going to make the mental disambiguation of saying "Beijing Olympics" in my head really annoying]
 
• Barack Obama (@potus) announced his Clean Power Plan this week. #cleanpower #NewsOnWikipedia

LGTM 
 
• Wreckage found on French island Réunion is from missing plane #MH370. #NewsOnWikipedia
 
Perhaps "French territory of Réunion" ? That sounds better to me but I'm not actually sure if it's more correct/better. You'll know the grammar side better then I :). Otherwise LGTM
 
• Zimbabwe have requested the extradition of an American hunter for #Cecil's killing. #NewsOnWikipedia
• Secretive Taliban leader Mohammed Omar actually died in 2013. #NewsOnWikipedia

Both LGTM
 
Facebook/G+:

• Beijing beat out Almaty of Kazakhstan to become the host city for the 2022 Winter Olympics this week. #NewsOnWikipedia

Hmmmm.... I'm torn between "Almaty of Kazakhstan" (which sounds awesome but kinda sounds like an aristocratic name to me) and "Almaty, Kazakhstan". Happy with either, otherwise LGTM

• Barack Obama unveiled his Clean Power Plan this week. #NewsOnWikipedia

LGTM

• Plane parts found on the French territory Réunion were this week confirmed as from missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. #NewsOnWikipedia

Same "of" question as above, otherwise LGTM

• Zimbabwe last week requested the extradition of American hunter Walter Palmer following the killing of Cecil the lion. #NewsOnWikipedia

perhaps "formally requested the extradition" ? (I'm not actually sure that's true but I think it is? Just thinking that's different then some of the random statements they mentioned about wanting extradition earlier). Otherwise LGTM
 
• Currently, only two images exist of former Taliban leader Mohammed Omar. This week it was confirmed that he died two years ago. #NewsOnWikipedia


Hmm, I'm happy with this one (I like the images fact) but worry that it could feel like a bit of a non sequitur. Perhaps tying it together with something like:

  • Currently, only two images exist of former Taliban leader Mohammed Omar. It's likely to stay that way unless more are found because this week it was confirmed that he died two years ago. #NewsOnWikipedia
best,
Joe

--
Joe Sutherland
Communications Intern [remote]