I've been following this discussion with interest, but have hesitated chiming in because I've never attended an NYC meetup and being in the Pacific Northwest, probably never will be. However, I've had some experience with this kind of thing, so I figured what the heck.
I've been involved in many groups in which this kind of thing (inappropriate behavior by males) has happened--churches, 12-Step groups, self-improvement organizations. These groups are usually voluntary organizations that tend to attract people (men and women) who have issues with social interaction and communication skills. As a result, many have never learned how to behave appropriately in public settings. I feel that Wikimedia also tends to attract these kinds of people--you know, the stereotypical geeky computer guys, who often lack in social skills.
For example, I was in a group recently in which a man drove away potential new members because he hit on every new woman who walked in the door. His behavior made it impossible for it to be a safe place for the growth and development of all its members. One time, he complimented me on my appearance during a meeting in front of everyone, which was inappropriate in that setting. I'm not shy about confronting people if necessary, so I called him on it immediately and publicly. I also felt confident that other members present would back me standing up for myself. Other boundaries were established and enforced with him, and eventually, he left the group.
There was a time in the history of this group when it was unhealthy enough to allow that kind of behavior, and the membership shrunk as a result. I strongly believe that healthy groups attract healthy people. Conversely, unhealthy people avoid healthy groups. It's also often the case that it takes just one or two toxic people to make groups toxic, and sometimes the only way to make a healthy group is to rout them out. Yes, you want to be inclusive, but that doesn't mean you should allow inappropriate behavior, because that ultimately kills a group. I've seen it happen too many times.
My recommendation, based on my experience, is to confront the offenders and if necessary, give them the choice of behaving appropriately or leaving. Set and enforce boundaries; if they refuse, kick them out of the group. This is necessary if you want your meetings to be safe places for everyone, men and women.
Christine
User:Figureskatingfan