And one think is discuss something - even when people have
different opinion than yours, another completely different is
play the "poor me, nothing I do is good" every time
someone has a criticism against your work.
I know I'm going to regret this, but, I can't be quiet anymore.
I apologize to this ENTIRE mailing list for this drama erupting, and
I'm going to be sending gender gap-l into my "special file" until my
heart rate goes down. If people want to talk to me, they can find me
on IRC or in private email, today.
---
Beria, you're passive aggressive bullying behavior has reached my
level of tolerance. I was going to email you privately, but, I
decided against that, as
you like to publicly share your
feelings with the community, including specific people publicly.
I have previously stated it, the last thing I wish to do is flood
the list with things that are of no benefit or interest to the
community. If me feeling bad about doing that is a bad then, so be
it, I'm just sick and tired of you repeatedly reminding me of how
I'm doing something wrong, and your declaration of "no one giving a
fuck" about what you have to say because you aren't a fellow or you
aren't a staff member is equally passive aggressive. I
worked
my butt off for this fellowship, and a fellowship with WMF is
something I have been exploring and trying to develop for almost two
years now. I'm honored to have it, beyond words. Anyone can apply to
be a fellow Beria, and passively declaring that no one cares about
you because you aren't paid, is just a mean slap in the face of
everyone who works hard at WMF and as volunteers. And remember,
there are chapter people who get paid to do their jobs, also.
And this isn't just about me - you've done it to a lot of people.
People I consider friends and colleagues, and people I don't even
know well.
I'm tired of having to worry about the things I post on this list,
Internal-L, and Foundation-L, being to your disapproval. I'm also
tired of the "monthly wait for what Beria will say to someone that
will cause drama on a mailing list" situation. While I'm sure others
greatly appreciate your attitude, I don't, and others do not as
well. Your behavior and bullying (which is defined here:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bullying) makes me have little to
desire to participate in mailing list discussions, and even
less
desire to even consider attending a conference that you are
co-planning. Which is something, civility, we touch on here on this
mailing list, as being a deterrent for people wanting to participate
in projects.
This isn't the first time that I've actively,
and publicly
asked you to stop behaving like this.
The goal of this list isn't to just "talk" about wanting to make
changes, it's about making changes. Whether they are online, in any
language project, or offline, through outreach, programming,
edit-a-thons, and whatnot. I talk my talk and I walk my walk, and I
know others here do too (and I try to share those projects when they
are brought to my attention). And if me being "too sensitive" or me
"caring too much" or "me being paid" is a deterrent to us moving the
meter (aka closing the gap) then I guess I'm the worst
representative for the gender gap movement.
Beria - I'm not going to argue with you about this, I'm not going to
ask you to ever like me, be my bestfriend, or make an exception. I
just want you to stop bullying me, others, and learn how your words
affects others before you type them. I can handle criticism, when
it's constructive. Not when it's rude, insensitive, unprofessional
and at times attacking.
and on another note, regarding language:
I only share what I know, and sadly, I have a permanent off switch
in my head that makes it tough for me to learn other languages (and
no, Google Translate does not count as quality accessibility), so
when I can only talk for English Wikipedia, I only post about
English Wikipedia. We've never called this list an English only
list, I encourage people to participate in all languages, so please,
please please do.
I apologize to everyone for making this a big freaking mess, but,
I'm tired of this. Absolutely tired of it. Tired to the point where
I have had trouble sleeping - I mean what the hell is that about?
Sarah
--
Sarah Stierch
Wikimedia Foundation Community Fellow
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