Hi Charlotte,
I'd like to thank you for taking the time to provide a rundown of your "Wikipedia career." I think it's useful for lots of us -- new and old Wikipedians alike -- to hear stories of how people encounter Wikipedia, and your providing the context of all your unproblematic encounters is not something many people take the time to do. So, in addition to echoing everyone's thanks for your contributions to Wikipedia, I also want to thank you for this thoughtful contribution to this email list.
One thing I'd like to point out -- and it's minor, by comparison. I appreciate the care you are taking regarding canvassing, and I'm familiar with the kinds of discussions that prompt it. However, it's really not so black-and-white. When people make accusations about canvassing, it often reflects their own misunderstanding of the relevant policies and practices. No serious deliberative community would prohibit the act of seeking an outside opinion, or inviting comment from trusted friends.
Like so much of Wikipedia, the important thing is to strike a balance between good faith input-seeking, and inflating the number of "votes" in a discussion. The most important ingredient in finding that balance? Something that Wikipedians rarely talk about: your own good judgment. I trust, especially, that someone capable of composing an email as thoughtful as yours is plenty capable of finding the right balance.
As frustrating as relativism can be, Wikipedia is a project that is founded on human judgment (cf: the 5th pillar, "Ignore All Rules"), and we are are continually reevaluating how rules apply to situations. Don't let anybody's rigid adherence to a rule, such as no-canvassing, get in the way of your efforts to make a better encyclopedia!
Again, thanks for your contributions to Wikipedia, and to this list's understanding of the new editor's experience. I also hope you'll continue editing; but at the same time, I've seen plenty of Wikipedians quit -- sometimes when they were clearly "right" -- and benefit from their time away from Wikipedia. I've also had the pleasure of seeing some of them return refreshed and reinvigorated. I hope you are one of those; but regardless, I support your desire to do right by yourself and your family!
-Pete