I think that we've all had our share of conflict in Wikipedia.  I also believe that conflict resolution is a difficult skill to both learn and use, and I suspect that the folks who have difficulty with it on the internet and forums like WP also have difficulty with it IRL.  The skills one needs IRL transfer to on-line forums.  The issues that have already been brought up confound it. 

I strongly believe that we are who we are, even on-line, but the anonymity of the internet augments it.  IOW, if someone's a jerk on-line, he or she will be a jerk off-line.  It takes even more skill to deal with the jerks of the world, and it's worse on-line.  Women have been socialized in a certain way to deal with conflict and bullies like this editor seems to be, so we have a particular difficulty with it.

Personally, I think the key to dealing with jerks on WP is not blocks, although they're an important tool.  People change their behavior, especially if it's entrenched, through relationships and social pressure.  I've driven away many a jerk in many a community I've been a part of, but only with the support of others. 

I'm not saying that you should become friends with this jerk.  I'm sure, though, that there has to be other out there who share your opinion, so I would think that a good way to handle it would be to team up with them, and then accumulate evidence regarding his inappropriate behavior. 

Perhaps all he just needs to learn how to be civil, and some education is necessary.  Is it up to us to educate folks about how to behave appropriately on the internet?  Sometimes it is.  People were kind, generous, and patient with me when I learned, both on-line and off, so why shouldn't I pass that on?

I've been lucky enough to avoid some of the conflicts I've seen on WP, mostly because I tend to avoid conflict and because of the articles I tend to edit, which aren't at all controversial.  I've had some successes, and some failures, and would like to hear others' experiences.  Perhaps this can be a place for that?

Christine
Username: Figureskatingfan



On Wed, Oct 26, 2011 at 11:03 AM, Sarah Stierch <sarah.stierch@gmail.com> wrote:

I think one of the big challenges is that strategies for coping with incivility on a day-to-day basis are often at odds with broader strategies to effect systemic change. Sometimes, the only way to get through a specific situation with one's sanity and dignity intact involves a bit of appeasing or lenience; but in the long run, appeasing and lenience make civility issues more difficult to solve. I don't think there's an easy answer to this tension, but I do think that talking about the various relevant experiences we've had will be useful; so I'm glad this discussion is taking place.


And that's just it - we have to explore this through systemic change and taking a broad look at everything and seeing what policies can be developed and changed. I have learned to channel my "mad as hell" mantra into "change change change" and it'll take time, but it's the best tool and the best weapon that I have (and the rest of us have!).

Being civil, having good manners and being nice to one another (wikilove baby!) should not be a "bad thing" and it seems that Wikipedia in some regards thinks it is. This isn't about censorship, it's about using the manners one's parents and so forth taught them (or at least my parents did) and being civil. What's so bad about that?

<3

Sarah


--
GLAMWIKI Partnership Ambassador for Wikimedia
Wikipedian-in-Residence, Archives of American Art
and
Sarah Stierch Consulting
Historical, cultural & artistic research & advising.
------------------------------------------------------
http://www.sarahstierch.com/


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