Hi Thomas and Carol -
I'm glad to hear you too were able to come together offline and
talk about the situation and have a non-caffeinated drink together
;) via the web, so to say.
We're happy to throw trouts around here when needed, and like
Kevin and I both said - if needed, we will moderate this list to
the maximum if the drama llama makes another stop by.
I'm glad you are both here, and both so passionate about all of
this. So let's channel that passion into positive things and "viva
la revolution"[1] :)
-Sarah
[1]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvWEKhGU6X4 (classic british
punk)
On 8/30/12 7:03 AM, Thomas Morton wrote:
Hey Carol (and the list!)
The escalation was equally my fault. And I also apologise for
the incident, and the things I said.
My "nice" comment, as I explained in private, was
not intended to cause upset - I was unaware of the connotations.
In that light; I can see how my reply could cause upset, and in
future I'll avoid the word! (Incidentally, that reminds me of an
anecdote from primary school - when I wrote a short story which
used the word "nice" to describe something. I didn't half get an
ear bashing from my teacher about how horrible and bland a word
it was. So this is not the first time I have gotten in trouble
using "nice" in my writing)
Anyway; what you wrote the other day, Carol, was most
definitely an apology, no "sort of" about it :) And I hope my
apology in reply was adequate.
As I mentioned in our email exchange the other day; being a
male on this list can sometimes make it feel difficult to
participate. If I respond in-kind to strong comments this gets
criticised (not unreasonably). If I roll over I feel this is
just as sexist/rude, even if only I know about it (i.e. I'm
subject to a thought process like "that person is female, so I
should defer to avoid causing offence").
My solution is to try and make my responses match the message
I am replying to; this obviously doesn't always work out :)
So in the future if I am being a jerk or an idiot a) it has
nothing to do with the sex of the people involved and b) please
do send me a private note with the appropriate level of "trout"
applied.
We all get grumpy or offended at times, and I don't mean it
personally.
The notes from the moderators posted to this list are great;
and I will do my best to meet the high standard they are looking
for in the future.
Tom
On 30 August 2012 14:31, Carol Moore DC
<carolmooredc@verizon.net>
wrote:
I hate to use physiological excuses,
but...the reason I "lost control" was I had a bad head
cold - plus doing strong coffee on top. So confused
mental/emotional states on steroids dominated my
writing...
I value Wikipedia as a place where I HAVE to be
diplomatic, since I do lose my temper like that a bit
too much sometimes on various male dominated political
lists where there's a lot of flaming, so I was unhappy
about my own "slip."
I did write Mr. Morton and (sort of) apologize for
"starting" in such a provocative "joking" tone because
of his "nice" comment, instead of just making a civil
comment/question...and then for my escalating from
there. Two days on my apologies to the him and the list
are even more sincere!! :-)
Glad to see Laura misunderstood and wasn't asked to
leave. Politically I understand worldwide problems with
American Imperialism; Wikimedia-wise I just haven't been
sufficiently on top of the intricacies of Wikimedia
politics to understand all the issues so at least there
I've been able to maintain my diplomacy - so far!!
CM
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