And one think is discuss something - even when people
have different opinion than yours, another completely
different is play the "poor me, nothing I do is good"
every time someone has a criticism against your work.
I know I'm going to regret this, but, I can't be quiet
anymore.
I apologize to this ENTIRE mailing list for this drama
erupting, and I'm going to be sending gender gap-l into my
"special file" until my heart rate goes down. If people want
to talk to me, they can find me on IRC or in private email,
today.
---
Beria, you're passive aggressive bullying behavior has
reached my level of tolerance. I was going to email you
privately, but, I decided against that, as
you like
to publicly share your feelings with the community,
including specific people publicly.
I have previously stated it, the last thing I wish to do is
flood the list with things that are of no benefit or
interest to the community. If me feeling bad about doing
that is a bad then, so be it, I'm just sick and tired of you
repeatedly reminding me of how I'm doing something wrong,
and your declaration of "no one giving a fuck" about what
you have to say because you aren't a fellow or you aren't a
staff member is equally passive aggressive. I
worked
my butt off for this fellowship, and a fellowship with WMF
is something I have been exploring and trying to develop for
almost two years now. I'm honored to have it, beyond words.
Anyone can apply to be a fellow Beria, and passively
declaring that no one cares about you because you aren't
paid, is just a mean slap in the face of everyone who works
hard at WMF and as volunteers. And remember, there are
chapter people who get paid to do their jobs, also.
And this isn't just about me - you've done it to a lot of
people. People I consider friends and colleagues, and people
I don't even know well.
I'm tired of having to worry about the things I post on this
list, Internal-L, and Foundation-L, being to your
disapproval. I'm also tired of the "monthly wait for what
Beria will say to someone that will cause drama on a mailing
list" situation. While I'm sure others greatly appreciate
your attitude, I don't, and others do not as well. Your
behavior and bullying (which is defined here:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bullying)
makes me have little to desire to participate in mailing
list discussions, and even
less desire to even
consider attending a conference that you are co-planning.
Which is something, civility, we touch on here on this
mailing list, as being a deterrent for people wanting to
participate in projects.
This isn't the first time that I've actively,
and
publicly asked you to stop behaving like this.
The goal of this list isn't to just "talk" about wanting to
make changes, it's about making changes. Whether they are
online, in any language project, or offline, through
outreach, programming, edit-a-thons, and whatnot. I talk my
talk and I walk my walk, and I know others here do too (and
I try to share those projects when they are brought to my
attention). And if me being "too sensitive" or me "caring
too much" or "me being paid" is a deterrent to us moving the
meter (aka closing the gap) then I guess I'm the worst
representative for the gender gap movement.
Beria - I'm not going to argue with you about this, I'm not
going to ask you to ever like me, be my bestfriend, or make
an exception. I just want you to stop bullying me, others,
and learn how your words affects others before you type
them. I can handle criticism, when it's constructive. Not
when it's rude, insensitive, unprofessional and at times
attacking.
and on another note, regarding language:
I only share what I know, and sadly, I have a permanent off
switch in my head that makes it tough for me to learn other
languages (and no, Google Translate does not count as
quality accessibility), so when I can only talk for English
Wikipedia, I only post about English Wikipedia. We've never
called this list an English only list, I encourage people to
participate in all languages, so please, please please do.
I apologize to everyone for making this a big freaking mess,
but, I'm tired of this. Absolutely tired of it. Tired to the
point where I have had trouble sleeping - I mean what the
hell is that about?
Sarah
--
Sarah Stierch
Wikimedia Foundation Community Fellow
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