Pete Forsyth's strategy looks good on paper, but my feeling is that for this particular *type* of uncivil editor (as opposed to your garden-variety editor who happens to have lost his temper), an approach of something like "you know, you're talking to real people, and your words can come across somewhat hurtful to those people" is usually met with "I'm polite to people I respect, and I don't respect those people", which is simply no solution at all. Editors who see the right to not be yelled at or name-called as a privilege someone has to earn, rather than as a default right, are, in my opinion, not well-suited to wikipedia.

-Fluffernutter

Yes, maybe there is a mismatch here between the kind of situation Ryan describes and the experience I was reporting. Sorry if this comment was a distraction; I absolutely agree that there are cases where a stronger response is called for.

I think one of the big challenges is that strategies for coping with incivility on a day-to-day basis are often at odds with broader strategies to effect systemic change. Sometimes, the only way to get through a specific situation with one's sanity and dignity intact involves a bit of appeasing or lenience; but in the long run, appeasing and lenience make civility issues more difficult to solve. I don't think there's an easy answer to this tension, but I do think that talking about the various relevant experiences we've had will be useful; so I'm glad this discussion is taking place.

I agree completely, by the way, that the "I have earned the right to respect or disrespect whomever I please" meme should be stamped out and burned with fire.

-Pete